


Journey On

by pagetcookgubler



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:54:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24023188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pagetcookgubler/pseuds/pagetcookgubler
Summary: "She's anxious to get to the girls before any more harm comes to them and had Amanda not already warned her about getting too close, Olivia would have ran every red light on the way to get to them." When Olivia comes across two sisters who ran away from home, it sets off a chain of events that will end up changing everyone's lives forever.
Relationships: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Amanda Rollins, Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 33





	1. I'll Fight

"Come on, Audrey!" The young girl hisses at her sister, her hand grasped tightly in the toddler's as she drags her through Central Park. They just have to get to a hotel, then they'll be safe. "If we stop running now, he'll find us!" 

"But I'm tired," Audrey whines, her tiny legs struggling to hold her up. "And cold." She shivers as the cold January air nips at her skin. 

Jade looks behind her and sees that no one is following them - they must have gotten a good fifteen minute start - before kneeling down and zipping up the child's coat, rubbing her hands up and down Audrey's arms to provide some warmth. She didn't have time before they left the house. She just knew that they had a chance to run and she wasn't going to miss it. "Better?" 

Audrey nods and holds her arms up for Jade to pick her up. She feels like her legs are going to fall off. "Up, Jade. Want up."

Jade sighs and lifts her sister, letting her wrap her little legs around her waist before running again. He has to know that they're gone by now - if he finds them, she'll be as good as dead. So will Audrey. 

She makes it as far as the block of apartments across from the park before her lungs start to burn and her arms feel like lead. Audrey has fallen asleep and she knows if she wakes her up now, she'll never get her to go back to sleep. Not without her favorite stuffed puppy and the book she has to read every night. 

Jade sighs and ducks inside one of the buildings. If he comes looking for them, they'll be safer inside. People will hear their screams. A couch by the elevators is the only respite they'll be able to get until they arrive at the hotel and Jade needs to rest. 

She feels Audrey stir in her lap and she stiffens, praying she doesn't wake up. She breathes a sigh of relief when Audrey just clutches onto her shirt tightly in her sleep, as if she's afraid that she's going to leave her. 

"Hi."

Jade looks up at the source of the voice and sees a woman who looks to be in her mid-forties with brown hair that's pinned up and a smile that reminds Jade of her mother. "Hey," she whispers back, instinctively clutching her sister tighter to her. 

The woman steps closer, crouching down in front of the couch and placing a warm hand on Jade's knee. She doesn't miss the flinch. "I'm Olivia. I live in the building. I've never seen you two here before. What's your name, sweetheart?" 

Jade bites her lip, staring at Olivia cautiously. She seems nice enough, but Jade knows better. Don't trust anyone because they'll only end up hurting you. That's her rule of thumb. Still, if she doesn't answer, Olivia will be mad and she'll end up hurting her anyway. She has to be a good girl now; she has to look out for Audrey. No more acting out or fighting back because she has to protect her sister. She's all that matters. "It's Jade," she mumbles, staring at the floor. "My sister's name is Audrey."

"Where are your parents, Jade?" 

Jade shrugs, but she visibly tenses and she knows Olivia noticed. Something shiny catches her eye and she looks at Olivia's belt, noticing the badge. Shit. She's a cop. If he sees her talking to a cop, he'll beat her into next week. She quickly stands, nearly dropping Audrey in the process. "We have to go," she mutters, hurrying towards the door before Olivia stops her, blocking her only exit. Jade is tired and hungry and she just wants to be safe. Why won't Olivia let her be safe? 

"Honey, it's -18 outside and you don't even have a coat. You're gonna freeze. I can't let you back out there." Olivia notices Jade struggling to keep Audrey in her arms and she holds her arms out for Jade to hand the child over. "It's okay, sweetheart. I won't hurt her. I'm just thinking it might be a good idea to give you a break." 

Jade bites her lip and tightens her grip on Audrey. She has spent the last three years protecting her and making sure that he doesn't hurt her. She's not going to just throw all that away by handing her off to a complete stranger, even if she is a cop. "What do you want with us?"

"Sweetheart, I just want to make sure you two are okay. That you're well taken care of." At the look on Jade's face, Olivia changes tactics. "How old are you girls?" 

"Twelve and three," Jade answers quietly, avoiding Olivia's gaze. She just wants the ground to open up and swallow her whole. She's so tired and her defenses are down and if Olivia keeps talking to her in that soothing, comforting tone of voice, Jade is sure she'll break and tell her everything. 

"Honey, it's freezing down here. Why don't you two come upstairs with me and I'll make some hot chocolate and find something for you to eat? It would make me feel better if the two of you were warm and safe until we can find your parents." 

Jade is about to respond, to tell her that she would rather live on the streets than go back to that house, when Audrey starts to wake up. She lifts her head off Jade's shoulder and sees Olivia, hiding her face in the crook of her big sister's neck. "Jade? Is she gonna hurt us?" 

"No, sweetheart, I'm not. My name's Olivia and I'm with the police. I want to keep you safe." Olivia responds, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder. In response, Jade backs away and holds on tighter to her sister.

"Don't you _dare_ touch her," she hisses, scowling at Olivia and backing away until she reaches the wall. "I'll do whatever you want, just leave her alone. She's off limits."

Olivia's heart breaks for the girl, her mind running rampant with the possibilities of what Jade thinks she'll make her do, and what she meant by off limits. She holds her hands up in front of her so that Jade can see them, risking a step closer and breathing a sigh of relief when Jade doesn't make a run for it. She can't, in good conscience, let these girls out of her sight until she knows that they're safe. 

"Okay, honey. I'm sorry. I'm not going to hurt either of you, and you _certainly_ don't have to do anything you don't want to in order to keep Audrey safe. I just don't feel comfortable letting you walk out of here with nowhere to go." She steps closer again, keeping her hands where Jade can see them. "My husband’s still at work, so it’ll just be us girls. We can go back to my apartment and get you two nice and cozy. I think Audrey would be a lot more comfortable, and to be perfectly honest, I think you would too." 

Jade can feel Audrey shivering in her arms and she knows that her sister is getting colder. Besides that, it's hours past her bedtime and she has to be exhausted. Jade sighs and nods slowly. She'll go with Olivia to keep Audrey warm and well-rested. Anything Olivia tries to do to her, Jade will take it for her. Every hit, every burn, every cut, Jade will take it all. It's nothing she isn't used to. 

Olivia smiles softly, motioning towards the elevator and cautiously placing a hand on Jade's back to provide even an ounce of safety and comfort. She's surprised when Jade turns to her and hands her Audrey, unsure if she's starting to trust her or if she's just too tired to keep holding her, but Olivia guesses it's the latter. 

They make their way to the apartment, Jade following close behind Olivia and watching Audrey closely. Her sister seems to like Olivia, and the woman seems genuine. Not to mention, hot chocolate sounds perfect right about now.

Once inside, Jade looks around the small space and can't help but feel at home. It's so cozy, comforting. If this woman is going to make sure they're fed and well-rested, she can't ask for a better place. She just has to wonder what she'll have to do in return.

Olivia searches around for something she can give the girls to eat when she comes across a box of leftover pizza in her fridge, letting out a triumphant, "Aha!" She grabs the box out of the fridge and sets it down on the counter, smiling when she sees Audrey's face light up. "I was hoping I'd be able to get some help finishing this pizza." 

"I can help!" Audrey exclaims, bouncing up and down, trying - and failing - to climb up on the stool. "Pizza, pizza!" 

Olivia chuckles, helping Audrey onto the stool and putting a slice of the pizza onto a plate. "Here you go, sweetheart. I'll get started on the hot chocolate."

"Thank you, 'Livia!" Audrey beams through a mouth full of pepperoni. 

Jade looks between Audrey and Olivia, conflicted. She knows better than to take food without her father's permission - she only tried that once, and she couldn't walk for a week afterwards. 

"It's okay, honey. Help yourself." 

Jade slowly inches towards the counter, giving Olivia time to change her mind. She reaches out and grabs a proffered slice with a shaking hand, biting into it while keeping a close eye on Olivia. If this woman is going to hurt her, she's going to be damn sure that there aren't going to be any surprises. Jade will see every move that Olivia makes. 

"Thanks," she mumbles, taking another bite. She's not used to this, she just wants Olivia to get it over with. Whatever Jade is supposed to do, however she's supposed to return the favor, she just wishes Olivia will tell her. 

"You're welcome, honey." She places the mug of hot chocolate in front of Audrey, warning her not to drink it too fast. "So, Jade, where do you and Audrey live?"

Jade looks at Olivia quizzically. "A house," she replies as if it was the stupidest question she's ever heard. 

Olivia chuckles, despite the severity of the situation, rephrasing the question. "Where's your house, Jade?"

Jade gives an address and Olivia shudders to herself. It's a rough neighborhood. "Do you live with your mom? Your dad?"

Jade winces at the mention of _him_ and Olivia ducks down slightly to try and get a better look at Jade's face. "Is that who you live with? Your dad?" At Jade's barely visible nod, Olivia risks a step closer. Jade backs away. Olivia lowers her voice so that Audrey can't hear. "Honey, does your dad hurt you?"

Jade doesn't respond.

"Hey, Jade? I'm a police officer. A lieutenant, actually, with Manhattan SVU. If he did anything - anything at all - that hurt you or that you didn't want, I can help you. I won't even tell him it was you." 

Jade's head snaps up and she narrows her eyes at Olivia, her hands shaking at her side. "You don't know what you're talking about." She helps Audrey off the stool and grabs her hand. "We're leaving. Come on, Audrey."

"Hey, Jade, wait a second." Olivia puts a hand on Jade's shoulder to stop her. Jade flinches and whips around, staring at Olivia with wide, brown eyes. 

"I'm sorry I got mad at you." Jade apologizes, pushing Audrey behind her. She's waiting for the yelling, the pain, but it never comes. 

"It's okay, sweetheart." Olivia's hand is still on Jade's shoulder and she takes the opportunity to squeeze it gently in an effort to calm the girl's nerves. 

"Are you gonna hit my sister, 'Livia?"

Olivia looks at Audrey and shakes her head. She looks at Jade and can see her face has drained of all color and she's visibly shaking. She turns back to Audrey. "No, honey. I would never hit her." She looks back at Jade. "But I think someone else hits her, am I right?"

"Come on, Audrey. We have to go." Jade insists, pulling away from Olivia and practically dragging Audrey to the door. 

"But 'Livia's so nice!" Audrey argues, digging her heels into the carpet and letting go of Jade's hand, crossing her tiny arms over her chest. "Why do we have to go? I wanna stay."

"Because, Audrey, we can't just stay with some complete stranger." 

"Really, Jade. It's more than okay. I'd actually prefer it if you girls were safe. I'd hate to have to come across you two while I'm on the job."

Jade bites her lip and sighs, bending down and picking Audrey up, balancing her on her hip. She wrenches the door open with her free hand, turning to face Olivia. "This was a mistake. We'll find somewhere else to stay."

Olivia opens her mouth to speak, but it's too late. The girls have left her life just as quickly as they came into it. She just prays to God that her suspicions are wrong.

* * *

She gets the phone call three long, agonizing weeks later. ACS had received a call from a police officer about two young girls who had been wandering the streets in the same area for weeks unsupervised. There were signs of abuse in the older girl, mainly the fact that her face is covered in bruises and she kept shying away from anyone who got too close to her. 

Olivia's mind automatically goes to Jade and Audrey and she promises ACS that she'll be there within minutes. She takes Amanda with her, filling her in on the way.

She's anxious to get to the girls before any more harm comes to them and had Amanda not already warned her about getting too close, Olivia would have ran every red light on the way to get to them.

The ACS worker leads them to a room obviously designed for younger kids - toys, small plastic chairs, murals of zoo animals painted on the too colorful walls - and points them in the direction of the two girls. "Audrey's having the time of her life, but Jade won't talk to anyone." 

Sure enough, Olivia sees Jade curled up on the only couch in the room, obviously made for visiting parents, and her heart breaks inside her chest. She looks so small, so vulnerable, and the surge of anger comes when she gets a good look at her face. 

"She say who hurt her?"

The ACS worker, who introduced herself as Molly, looked at Amanda and shook her head, brown ponytail swaying from side to side. She paused, her gaze flickering between Olivia and Amanda. "Which one of you is Olivia?"

Before Olivia can answer, Audrey is bounding toward her, coloring book clutched in her tiny hands. "'Livia!" She crashes into her legs, wrapping her arms around Olivia's shins. 

"Hi, sweetheart," Olivia crouches down and scoops Audrey up into her arms, balancing her on her hip. "Molly tells me you're having fun here." 

"Yeah!" Audrey nods vigorously, wrapping her arms around Olivia's neck. "Jade said you'd come back for us. I didn't believe her, but you did. I missed you."

Olivia's arms tighten around the child in her arms and she glances at Amanda. "I missed you too, Audrey." Olivia whispers, rubbing a hand up and down the girl's back. "Hey, honey, this is my friend Amanda. She's gonna take really good care of you while I go talk to Jade, okay?"

Amanda smiles at Audrey and opens her arms, the child letting out a small whine as Olivia hands her over to her detective. "Hey, Audrey. That's a really nice coloring book you've got. Do you think you can show me how good you can color?"

Audrey looks at Olivia skeptically, something akin to fear shining in her eyes. Anger is welling up deep inside her, a tangible fire that she can't quell. She can't help but wonder what happened while the girls were on the streets, while she couldn't protect them. The thought of someone laying a hand on Jade was heart-wrenching enough, but Audrey is so young, so innocent, a _baby_. Olivia can't even fathom that type of evil. 

"It's okay, sweetheart. You go with Amanda and I'll be right over there, okay?"

Audrey nods and relaxes against Amanda, letting the woman lead her over to a small table in the corner, talking to her the entire time in an effort to calm her.

Olivia makes sure that Audrey is settled with Amanda before slowly moving towards Jade. Her palms are sweaty and her legs feel like jelly as she walks the short distance to the girl - the virtual stranger. She crouches down in front of Jade and can't help but rest a hand on her shoulder. "Jade."

Jade's eyes meet Olivia's gaze and the woman sees the corners of her lips turn upwards in the smallest of smiles before it disappears and she wrenches her arm away from her, sitting upright and staring at the wall in front of her. "Great. You again."

Olivia ignores the stabbing pain in her heart, reminding herself that Jade is just a child herself - a victim - and she doesn't mean what she's saying. "Jade, sweetheart, can you look at me, please?" 

Jade's eyes slowly, hesitantly meet Olivia's and it's the first time since her mother left that she saw anyone with so much compassion and understanding. It almost makes her break down and tell her everything.

Olivia reaches out and tucks a strand of Jade's hair behind her ear. "Honey, who did this to you?"

Jade shrugs and leans slightly into Olivia's touch, her eyes drifting over to where Audrey and Amanda are playing. "Who is that?" Her voice is laced with worry and she quickly stands, intent on marching over there and grabbing Audrey from the stranger. 

"It's okay, sweetheart," Olivia assures her. "It's just my friend Amanda. She works with me and she's keeping Audrey safe." Olivia pauses, bending down slightly to get a better look at the girl. "She's _safe_ , Jade. You're safe."

Jade looks at Olivia, her brown eyes shining with tears before she quickly blinks them away. She can't remember the last time anyone has ever said those words to her, has tried so hard to protect her. Maybe, she thinks, maybe Olivia can be trusted. Maybe Olivia can help. 

"Jade." Olivia starts, taking Jade's hand in her own. "I know this is hard, trusting people, opening up, but whoever did this to you, whoever hurt you committed a _crime_. Don't let them get away with this, don't let them win."

Something in Jade breaks open and she careens forward, her face buried in Olivia's shoulder as she cries. 

"Shh. Okay, okay. I'm here." Olivia holds Jade close, rubbing a hand on her back. "You're okay." She hadn't realized how tense she was until she feels everything release. She isn't sure if her reassurances are meant for herself or Jade. 

“I was so scared.” She sobs into Olivia’s shoulder.

She's been so afraid for their safety, and now here they are, safe and sound - for the most part - and it's such a relief that her own tears fall down her cheeks, getting lost in Jade's hair as she pulls her closer, holding her tight. "I know, sweetheart," she whispers, her voice catching. "I know." 

Jade pulls away, swiping a hand underneath her eyes and looking up at Olivia. "Dennis Castillo. I've only met him, like, once." She grabs Olivia's hand, playing with the ring on her finger in an attempt to ground herself. "He's not the worst one. He doesn't...do the same things as the rest of them, but he's beaten me up a few times." She closes her eyes and lets out an involuntary whimper. When she opens them, Olivia is staring back at her, patiently waiting for her to continue. "Our father sent him to track us down, bring us home. He came up behind me, hit me in the back of my head with a bottle. He tried to take Audrey. He...he _touched_ her." 

Olivia's free hand clenches at her side and she closes her eyes against the tears. This man is going to rot in a cell for the rest of his life, she's going to make damn sure of that. "Did he...?"

" _No_." Jade cuts her off. "He thought he knocked me out, but it just hurt. A lot. That's the only way he'd ever get that far, Olivia. I'd have to be unconscious or dead for me to let anyone hurt her like that." 

Olivia lets loose a small chuckle, placing her free hand on Jade's arm. "I know, sweetie. I remember." She pauses, squeezing Jade's arm gently. "You're a good big sister. Audrey's lucky to have you." 

Jade nods and there's a warm feeling spreading through her. It means a lot for Olivia to say that to her. "She was screaming for me to help her. He was touching her...down there. He was about to pull her pants down. I grabbed a rock and hit him from behind, but it wasn't hard enough." She gestures towards her face, letting out a dry laugh. "He turned around and that's when I recognized his face. I just remember telling - _begging_ \- him to hurt me instead. Then he was laying on top of me, kissing my neck while he held a piece of glass to my throat." She swallows against the knot in her throat and holds on tighter to Olivia's hand. "He told Audrey that...he said she was lucky that I was there. Then he started hitting me, kicking me. It hurt so much. It took his attention away from Audrey though, right?" 

"Oh, sweetheart, _no_." Olivia takes Jade into her arms again, cradling her head to her chest. "What this man did to you is _not_ okay. What your father did to you is _not_ okay. You matter too, do you understand me? You are so important. You're important, you're valuable. You matter. To Audrey, to me, you _matter_." 

Jade nods and buries her face in Olivia's chest, clutching the fabric of her blouse. For the first time in three years, she feels safe. 

* * *

Olivia has interrogated hundreds of suspects in her tenure at the NYPD. Dozens of cases she felt she had a personal stake in, and yet this one outweighs them all. As she paces in front of Castillo, Jade's statement clenched in her hand, she thinks of those girls who had so quickly become such an integral part of her life.

She can soldier through this, she thinks, just as she had every other high-stakes interrogation.

Fin had mercifully decided it was better to stand at her side than to argue with her about being a part of the interrogation. They'd spent nearly an hour waiting on a public defender to show up for Castillo, and Fin had spent that time reading Jade's statement. His shoulders were set harder than Olivia could remember seeing them in months.

"Help yourself out, Castillo," Fin says, opting for good cop. That's fine. Olivia has enough fury for the both of them.

"Look, if you wanna lock someone up..."

"Dennis," the lawyer cautions, a scruffy kid who'd likely just graduated. "We're not playing the blame game."

"Oh, really? Might want to check with your client on that one." Olivia huffs.

"Mr. Castillo was under extreme duress caused by Max Taylor's..."

"He's being questioned. We haven't forgotten about him." She leans forward, palms flat against the table, her face inches from Castillo. "But I'd love it if you sat in front of a jury and told them the reason you beat that little girl's face in and fondled a three-year-old is that you received a threatening text message."

"Max is a _monster_."

"And now so are you," Olivia levels, plopping down next to Fin. "What did you think would happen, Dennis? You'd assault those two children and then waltz home like nothing ever happened?"

"He told me to!" Dennis slams his hands on the table, his face coming within inches of Olivia's. There it is. If Olivia can keep bating his temper, it'll be a quick night.

"You could've gone to the police." Olivia scowls at him and slams a photo of Jade's scalp onto the table. "You neglected to go to the police. You took matters into your own hands."

"Only because..."

"No. There's no justifying that." She thrusts the picture across to Dennis and pulls out another of Audrey's bruised arms where he grabbed her, a picture of Jade's bruised jaw. 

The cut on her neck where the piece of glass had dug into her flesh.

"I was only tryin' to scare them."

"Mr. Castillo, I would advise you..."

Dennis elbows his lawyer. "Just shut it, okay?" His eyes meet Olivia's. "Look, I wanted to call the cops, but you don't say no to him."

Fin picks up a photo and holds it centimeters from Dennis' face. "So this is better? Stooping to his level? Come on, man. You gotta try harder than that."

He swats the image away. "I am _not_ Max, you hear me?"

"You sure about that?" Olivia taunts, opening up her case file. She stands to pace the cage again, her pulse pounding against her temple. She'll goad him with inarguable facts, not that she doesn't take Jade at her word. But for now, they'll stick to what can be backed up by the hospital. "Your saliva was on Jade's neck. She has bruising along her jawline, her ribs. Her neck needed to be glued where you held a piece of glass to her throat so she couldn't fight back. Her scalp was littered with glass. She's being monitored for a concussion."

"I didn't..."

"You didn't what, Dennis? You didn't rape her?" He sits back in his seat, shrinking under her glare. 

"You think because you just threatened it, you're a better man than Max?"

"This isn't going away," Fin says gravely. "Lawyer or not, you're gonna tell us what went down from the moment you got that text."

"I don't have to tell you anything."

Olivia leans back against the wall. "You know what? You don't." Fin snaps his head back to look at her. "He doesn't, Fin. He tried to protect the girls, and now they're safe from Max. He's being questioned as we speak, he'll be locked up for God knows how long, and the girls can be bounced around the foster system. It sounds like a happy ending to me."

"You know, you're right, Liv. Max'll be locked away for life, he'll never hurt anyone again. 'Less he's got someone else workin' for him on the outside. Looks like we're done here." Fin stands, his chair legs scraping against the floor. They both turn toward the door.

Olivia's hand poised on the knob, Dennis chokes.

* * *

"What's gonna happen to us?" Jade asks, her head falling on Olivia's shoulder as the three of them sit in Olivia's office waiting for Molly. 

Olivia runs a hand through Jade's hair, keeping a close eye on Audrey as she draws. "You two are going to be placed into a new home. One with a family who loves and treasures you, because that's what you deserve." 

Jade lifts her head off of Olivia's shoulder and stares up at her with wide, imploring eyes. "Does that mean we won't see you anymore?" 

Olivia pulls Jade closer and can't resist placing a kiss to her forehead. "No, sweetheart. I'll give you my card and you and Audrey can call me whenever you want, okay? I'll always answer." 

Jade nods against Olivia's shoulder. "Okay." She mumbles into the fabric, jumping at the sound of the knock at the door. 

Amanda pokes her head in. "Molly's here, Liv." 

Olivia nods and stands up, rubbing her hand up and down Jade's arm. "Amanda's gonna stay here and keep you two safe while I talk to Molly, okay, honey?" 

Jade looks wearily at Amanda then back at Olivia, nodding her head softly. She grabs Olivia's hand just as she's about to leave. "You'll come back? Promise?" She has to make sure that Olivia won't leave her too.

Olivia squeezes Jade's hand softly. "I promise, sweetheart." She leaves the blinds in her office open so Jade can still see her and runs a hand down Audrey's head before she exits her office. 

"Lieutenant Benson." Molly smiles. "It's nice to see you again." She extends her hand for Olivia to shake before her expression turns grim. "How are the girls?"

"They're coping." Olivia sighs. "Audrey's still too young to understand a lot of what's going on, but Jade..." Olivia trails off and turns to face the direction of her office. Jade is staring at them through the window, watching Olivia closely. She gives the girl a small smile and turns to face Molly again. "Were you able to find a family?"

"Yes and no." Molly rests her briefcase on the chair next to her. "There's two different families. One is interested in Audrey, the other's interested in Jade."

"You want to separate them?" Olivia's voice is low, menacing, and it surprises even her. "Jade has fought like hell to protect Audrey. There's no way that's going to happen."

Molly sighs. "What would you like me to do, Lieutenant?"

I'll take them," Olivia says in a tone of voice that says it's better not to argue.

"You're not licensed for foster care," Molly points out.

"Then I'll apply for emergency certification."

"And why do you think that the children would be better off with you than in a state-approved facility?"

Olivia counts to ten silently so as not to snap. She makes it to six before speaking. "Because I found them. They're already comfortable with me and trust me."

"You work a dangerous job with erratic hours. You would need to arrange for child care while you're away and for their education." 

"I'll do it all."

Molly sighs. "I'll start putting the paperwork through now. The temporary license is only for three months, though. If you want to keep them, you'll have to start on the paperwork soon."

"I'll start it tomorrow," Olivia says, smiling. "Thank you."

Molly nods. "Take care of them."

"I will," Olivia promised.

Molly leaves and the girls come bounding out of Olivia's office, a very apologetic Amanda in tow as they run into the older woman's arms. Olivia scoops Audrey up and holds her close, pulling Jade into her side with her free arm. 

These girls - _her_ girls - are finally going to be loved. 


	2. Evil Has No Boundaries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're making a mistake, Detective Carisi," he says. "You think I'm bad? Wait until you meet the big guns."

She jerks to consciousness just before they rip off her shirt. Jade stares up at the ceiling, panting. The ache in her scalp throbs, a tight pressure at the crown of her head that cascades down to her neck and shoulders.

She feels the familiar ache between her legs and she can't get her breathing under control.

She grits her teeth and switches on the bedside lamp, automatically bringing up a hand to shield her eyes. She has no concept of the time, but it's too quiet. Surely by now, Audrey would have woken up and crawled into Olivia's bed with her.

Jade pushes the comforter back and climbs out of bed, relieved the pain in her body is no longer gripping her motor function.

Audrey isn't in her bed.

Her heart drops out.

_You know what, Audrey? You're damn lucky your sister's here to save you._

Her brain catches up as she wrenches the bedroom door open. Olivia is here. Olivia and Rafael are here, and there's light emanating from the living room.

There stands Olivia, swaying with a nearly asleep Audrey, while Rafael stands behind his wife and sings softly to Audrey - some kind of Spanish lullaby from what Jade can make out. Both of them are oblivious to Jade's panic. 

"Is she okay?"

Rafael stops singing and Olivia turns and gives her a warm smile. "She's okay. Just a bad dream." Olivia rubs Audrey's back softly, shushing her. "I think she's just a little off schedule with all the craziness last night. Rafa just gave her some warm milk and she's nearly down again already."

Jade nods, the thudding in her chest starting to dull down. She looks at Rafael. "Sorry. I didn't hear her." She's usually so good about keeping Audrey quiet enough to not wake anyone up, if only because she knows what happens when she doesn't. 

_"Damn it, girl, shut her up!"_

Rafael waves off her apology, advancing towards Jade. She closes her eyes and waits for the yelling, the pain. She and Audrey have already kicked him out of his own bed and now this. He must hate them. 

Instead, he pushes a strand of her hair behind her ear and kisses her forehead. "I was already awake. And," he adds as an afterthought, "it's not your job anymore.  _Claro_? Your only job now is to be a kid and get good grades in school." 

Olivia sees Jade nod, but she doesn't look entirely convinced.  _At least she's not shying away from him anymore_ , she thinks as Audrey's head falls heavy on her shoulder,  _that's progress_. "That's it, my sweet girl. You're okay." She whispers to Audrey as her tiny fists clutch her shirt and her breathing evens out. She turns her attention to Jade. "What about you, hm? You were out when Audrey woke up. Bad dream?"

Though the immediate scare of Audrey's empty bed had wiped away the images of the men and her father temporarily, Jade can feel them lurking now, their fingers ghosting along her neck, her waist, her thighs. 

"Jade?"

She snaps her head up to Olivia. "Huh? Sorry. I'm okay."

Olivia hands Audrey over to Rafael and he disappears into the bedroom. Jade knows he's only putting her back to bed, but she has to resist the urge to lunge forward and grab her from his arms. She wonders how long that will last. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

Olivia's voice makes Jade flinch and her head snaps up, eyes focused on Olivia. "I just...I woke up and Audrey wasn't there. I'm not used to Audrey not being there." 

"Oh, honey." Olivia whispers, beckoning Jade over to the couch. Jade doesn't move. "It's okay, Jade. Come here, sweet girl." 

Jade walks over to the couch, her movements slow and tentative. Her pulse is thumping in her ears and she has that nervous pit in her stomach again as she sits down at the other end of the sofa, drawing her knees up to her chest and looping her arms around her shins. 

_"Hey, little girl." He sits down next to her on the couch, throwing an arm around her shoulders. One hand is tangled in her hair and the other is resting on her thigh. "I'm payin' your daddy good money to have some fun with you girls, so you'd better behave."_

_Jade focuses on the cartoon as his hand moves farther up her thigh. She bites down on her lip against the pain. She's still sore from last night. She closes her eyes when he forces her into a lying position and unzips her jeans. "Whatever you had in mind for Audrey," she whispers, "I'll do to you for free."_

"Jade? Honey, it's okay. Come back to me."

Jade's head snaps up and she looks at Olivia, blurry through her tear-filled eyes. She blinks and they're gone. She hates herself for going to that place again, for thinking of that man, and she wonders if this is going to happen every time she sits on a couch. She doesn't even remember his name, but his face is imprinted in her mind.

"Jade, it's okay, sweetheart. You're safe now. No one can hurt you anymore." Olivia's voice  is full of empathy and concern, a hint of fear evident beneath.

As if Olivia can sense what's causing her fear, she stands up and moves to the armchair next to the couch. "Jade, sweetheart, come here. It's okay." 

Jade quickly stands. Her fear of couches is sudden but she's all too happy to never sit on another one again. She moves over to Olivia, standing in front of her and chewing on her bottom lip, eyes wide. She wonders if maybe Audrey waking Olivia up is a bigger deal than they're making it out to be. 

"I'm sorry about Audrey. I promise it won't happen again. She's only a kid, though. Don't be too mad at her, okay? Be mad at me instead. You can hurt me instead. Please." 

_Audrey's cries are loud, unrelenting and nothing Jade does seems to calm her down. She grabs her favorite stuffed animal from the bed and hands it to her, but Audrey just screams louder and throws it against the wall._

_"Audrey, please." Jade whispers, picking up the stuffed puppy and putting it back on her bed. He's going to barge into her room any second and she knows better than to leave things on the floor, but Audrey doesn't. "I know you're scared, but it was just a bad dream and Daddy's really mad."_

_"No!" Audrey scrambles onto Jade's lap and clutches at her t-shirt, burying her face in Jade's neck. "I don't like it when he's mad."_

_"I told you to shut her up!" Max storms into Audrey's room and towers over the girls. "What the hell is wrong with her now?"_

_Jade looks up at Max and glares at him, tightening her hold on Audrey. She's sure she's going to be punished later, but right now, she needs to focus on her sister. "She had a nightmare. She's scared. Please don't be mad at her. I'll calm her down, I promise."_

_He pushes Audrey out of Jade's lap and she lands on the floor with a sickening thud. Jade wants more than anything to scoop her back up and make sure she's okay, but she knows better. "I thought you'd know by now not to talk back to me, you little bitch!"_

Olivia's heart breaks for Jade and she swallows against the knot of anger. At just twelve years old, she's had to regularly beg her father to hurt her so her sister would stay unharmed. "It's okay, baby. Rafa and I aren't mad at either of you." Olivia assures her. She gently grabs Jade's hand and pulls her down onto her lap, cradling her head to her chest. 

Jade tenses and focuses her gaze on the wall in front of her, her mind somewhere else so she doesn't struggle, something Olivia realizes she's had to do too often at such a young age. 

"Shh." She strokes Jade's hair back from her face, kissing her forehead. "I'm not going to hurt you, honey. You never have to worry about that here. You just looked a little...uncomfortable...on the couch."

Jade can feel her heartbeat slowing down and her pulse is no longer beating so fast that she feels like she'll pass out, but she still can't stop remembering, they won't leave her alone. She nods, hiding her face in the crook of Olivia's neck. "He came out of nowhere." Jade whimpers. "I was watching cartoons on the couch one minute and the next, he's sitting next to me, touching me, hurting me,  _inside_ of me. I didn't want it, but I didn't want Audrey to..." Her voice gets lost in a sob and she lifts her head to look at Olivia. "I just let him do it right there on the couch." 

"Jade, you didn't  _let_ him..." 

"When he was done, he just covered me with a blanket and left me there." Jade continues as if she hadn't even heard Olivia. "And Audrey came downstairs and I just kept telling her that I wouldn't let anyone hurt her. I took it twice so that Audrey wouldn't have to. I  _told_ him to."

"Oh, sweetheart." Olivia pulls Jade closer, resting her cheek against Jade's bent head. She's never felt so powerless and she's stricken mute, unsure of what to say to make this better for her girl. 

Olivia holds Jade in the same position, listening to her sobs for twenty long, agonizing minutes and it breaks Olivia's heart to think of how much unnecessary pain and guilt has been pent up inside this sweet little girl for so long. She has an instinct to hunt all the bastards down and get Jade and Audrey the justice they so deserve. 

Tomorrow, she thinks, will be another day. For now, though, she needs to focus on the girls. The girls are her number one priority now. The only thing that matters from now on is the children in her care.

* * *

In hindsight, Olivia and Rafael should have known that the girls would have separation anxiety, given what they've been through, but they're totally unprepared for their reactions. 

Jade is curled up in the same armchair she and Olivia were sitting in last night, knees drawn to her chest and her face hidden in her arms. 

Audrey hasn't stopped crying since Olivia told her they were leaving and the woman is now trying to calm her down before the neighbors complain. 

Her and Rafael are talking about upgrading, buying a house that can fit all four of them, but they still haven't found a place. 

"Audrey, it's okay, baby. I promise we'll come back." Olivia holds Audrey close to her, bouncing her on her hip as she paces the room. "'Livia and Rafi love you girls too much to leave you, hm?" 

"No!" Audrey screams, beating her tiny fist against Olivia's clavicle. "You can't leave! You promised!" She grabs onto Olivia's shirt and holds on tight, as if she's afraid that the woman will disappear, even as she's holding her. 

Olivia pulls Audrey closer, guiding her head to her shoulder. She stops screaming but she's still crying big, gut-wrenching sobs that hurt Olivia and Rafael to their souls. "I know, sweetheart. And if Rafi and I could stay here all day with you and Jade, we would. But you're gonna have lots of fun with Lucy and we'll come home before you know it and you can tell us all about your day and Rafi might even read you a story before bedtime."

Rafael is about to respond, to assure Audrey, but he catches sight of Jade curled up in the chair and his heart breaks for her as he realizes they're so focused on calming Audrey that Jade has fallen through the cracks.

He slowly moves over to the chair and crouches down in front of her. "Hey,  _mija_." Jade lifts her head and looks at Rafael, eyes red and puffy as if she's been crying too. 

"You're really leaving?"

He wants nothing more than to reach out and take her in his arms, to protect her from the evils of the world, but she's already seen them all. He nods, resisting the urge to scoop her up in his arms, much like Olivia had done with Audrey. He's struck speechless, unsure how to comfort his daughter. Olivia's always been better at the heart-to-hearts than him. 

"Okay," she whispers, turning her head away from him again. She chews her bottom lip, staring at the wall in front of her. "You have to come back though, okay? Audrey needs you." 

Rafael swallows against the knot in his throat and gains his composure. He's suddenly thankful he has nothing to do with their case, that he'll never come face to face with the bastards who broke his daughters - damaged them beyond repair. He's not a vengeful man, but these are his girls, his  _daughters_ , and if he ever sees them, he's terrified he'll let his anger win. 

All he can do is nod, but then he feels compelled to gather Jade into his arms and hold on tightly, not only for her, but for him. He pulls her closer until she's in his lap and she only tenses for a moment before she buries her face in the crook of his neck and holds on just as tightly. 

"I know you're not used to hearing this, but I love you." He whispers into her ear, rocking her back and forth gently. " _Te quiero_ , Jade.  _Te quiero mucho_. And I'll never stop, no matter what you do, no matter what you say. You hear me? We will always come back to you girls because  _Olivia and I love you_."

Jade just nods against his shoulder. "I love you, too." Her voice catches because she's never had anyone besides Audrey to say that too and now she has a father. A real father and a real mother. A family. "I love you too, Dad." 

Rafael's heart swells with pride and he pulls Jade closer, kissing the top of her head. They hold each other, Rafael so close to tears himself, until Lucy arrives. 

Olivia tries to pry Audrey from around her neck. "We have to go to work now, sweetie. Rafi and I will be back at supper time, okay? And you can tell us all about all the fun things you did with Lucy today."

Audrey shakes her head, tears wetting Olivia's shirt. "No. Don't wanna. I wanna go with you and Rafi, 'Livia."

Olivia sighs. "Honey, we've talked about this. Remember? You're going to stay here and play while we're at work. And Jade will be here the whole time. Can you be a big girl and let go for me?"

Audrey shakes her head again, holding on tighter. 

Olivia reaches up and gently pries her hands apart with one hand, passing her to Lucy. "Be a good girl for Lucy, and Rafi and I will see you soon, okay?"

Lucy takes Audrey, who starts to cry harder. "No! Please don't go!"

Rafael leans over and kisses her forehead. "We love you, Audrey and we'll be back before you know it." 

Olivia draws Jade into a hug, holding her tightly and kissing her forehead. "Rafa and I will be back at 5:30, okay, sweetheart? I love you."

Jade nods against her shoulder and tries to calm her heartbeat, grasping Olivia's blouse tightly. "I love you, too." 

Olivia and Rafael say goodbye to the girls one more time and they're just about to leave when the screaming starts again.  "'Livia! Rafi! I wanna go too!" Audrey wails, reaching for Rafael. "Please don't leave me! Rafi! 'Livia!"

They push their way out the front door, Olivia's tears threatening to fall. She feels as though a weight is pressing on her chest and she can't breathe. The sounds of Audrey's screams keep echoing in her ears, the look on Jade's face and the way she clung to her imprinted in her mind. 

* * *

Their main suspect is Tony Lucas. A girl that's only four years older than Jade reports him for sexual abuse and Olivia and Carisi raid his house for evidence. 

They're just about to leave empty-handed when Carisi sees a trap door leading to a basement. 

Their guns are drawn and Olivia goes in first, heart racing and listening for any sounds. She flips a lightswitch and the room is bathed in light, but she immediately wishes she was still in the dark. 

"Jesus Christ," she hears Carisi mumble from behind her. "What the hell is all of this?" He walks further into the room and plucks a photo from the table in the corner of the room with a gloved hand. 

"It's a shrine," Olivia answers, her eyes scanning the small room. Her stomach is in knots and she resists the urge to throw up her lunch. Kids of all ages line the walls and the conditions they're photographed in makes Olivia want to cry. "Let's just find the picture of Amy and get CSU here to collect the rest. I can't look at these any longer than I have to." 

"Copy that, boss," he starts looking around, eyes landing on one in particular. He moves closer to get a better look at who he thinks is their victim and his heart sinks.

There, staring back at him, hogtied and nude with a gag in her mouth, is Jade. He rips it off the wall and flips it over, reading what's written on the back.

_# 137_

_3.13.2017_

"You find it?" 

Carisi jumps at the sound of Olivia's voice and swallows the lump in his throat. He knows he should tell her, knows he's withholding evidence by not showing her the photo, but it's her _daughter_. 

So he shakes his head and waits until she turns away before stuffing it in his pocket. He'll dispose of it later, burn it so he never has to look at it again. 

Olivia finds what they're looking for a few minutes later and they're all too happy to get out of that basement and as far away from their suspect's house as possible. 

* * *

"Carisi, what's going on?" Olivia glances at him before focusing on the road again, turning onto the street where the 1-6 sits. "You haven't said a word since we left Lucas's house."

"Nothin'", he mutters, looking out the window. "I just wanna nail this prick." He slides out of the car, slamming the door and leaving Olivia to trail behind him. He stuffs his hands in his pockets, fingering the picture. A new plan starts to form in his mind and he makes a mental note to cancel dinner with Amanda tonight. 

Jade is going to get justice. One way or another.

They find out the pictures are from someone else, someone just as sick as Tony and Max and Castillo. Carisi wonders how many there are, how many sick, perverted sons of bitches laid their hands on Jade - on  _their_ Jade - but he keeps his composure while he and Fin interrogate Tony. 

Tony refuses to give the name of the bastard, but he gives them everything they need to put him away for the rape of Amy Holland. 

It's easy enough to get into his holding cell. All he has to do is flash a badge and he's inside, face to face with the only man who Sonny Carisi has ever really wanted to kill. "You remember me?"

Tony nods, a smirk playing on his face. "Detective Carisi, right? You and Detective Tutuola really had it out for me."

"You raped a sixteen-year-old girl." His voice is low and menacing, accusatory. He pulls out the photo and shoves it towards Tony's chest. "You ever see her before?"

Tony looks at the picture and his eyes light up. He chuckles, looking back at Sonny. "Can't say I have. Wouldn't mind a taste, though." 

"Listen to me _right now_ ," Sonny hisses, invading the last small bit of space between them. "You don't speak about her or Amy or any other girl like that, you understand? You and your sick friends may sit like kings of the castle outside of these walls, but here, _here,_ is _my_ territory. So this is the deal, Tony. You're gonna give me his name, and you're never going near Amy or Jade or any other girl ever again, _ever._ Got it?"

Tony's eyes narrow at Sonny's words. "Hey, look, officer..."

" _Detective_." Carisi glares at him.

" _Detective_. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into. My suggestion? Back off before things get messy." 

Without thinking, Sonny pushes him against the wall and reaches for his cell phone. "I'm not an idiot, Tony. I didn't come here to give you the beating you deserve. I'll leave that to your cellmates. Here's the the thing, though. I have three people on my speed dial right now who could make it look like an accident. They probably wouldn't even find your body."

Tony's eyes widen in anger, but he says nothing.

"Then we understand each other. If I _ever_ see you outside of these four walls again, I will _end_ you, Tony, and I won't lose any sleep over it. I want your boss' name and I want it _now_." Sonny grabs his jumpsuit by the collar and pushes him further into the wall. 

Tony's eyes widen again - this time in fear - and he finally chokes. "Wyatt Harris." 

Sonny backs off and signals for the guard to open the door and he's in the hallway when he hears Tony's voice again. 

"You're making a mistake, Detective Carisi," he says. "You think I'm bad? Wait until you meet the big guns."

Sonny's not intimidated in the least. 

* * *

Tony's trial does not go smoothly. He suddenly changes his plea from guilty to not guilty, claiming he was coerced into a confession. Luckily for Sonny, he doesn't give any names - it's something he seems to be notoriously bad at.

He's able to sneak the gun inside and as soon as the first shot rings out, everybody is screaming and running, trying to get out of the building. 

Amanda tries to subdue him, but it backfires and the next thing she knows, his arm is around her neck in a choke hold and his gun is pointed at her temple.

"Tony, man, you don't wanna do this." Fin's voice is calm, level. "Think about it. She's a cop. You kill her, you go away for life."

Tony jams the barrel of the gun into Amanda's skull harder. "My life's already over. I don't have anything else to loose." He knows that Wyatt has already planned his demise as punishment for giving him up, he's already getting someone to murder him and make it look like a suicide.

"We can help you," Olivia says, her hands raised where Tony can see them. "If you let her go, none of this ever happened."

"There's no helping me now. I'm done." He looks at Carisi and points the gun at his head. "You." He growls, finger on the trigger. "You ruined everything." 

"Tony," Amanda starts, her breath hitching. What the hell is he talking about? "We can talk about this. No one has to get hurt."

"Shut up!" He yells and he slams the butt of his gun into Amanda's face. 

Fin and Carisi tackle him to the ground in seconds, disarming him. Fin slides the gun over to Olivia and Sonny grabs him by the collar, yanking him into a standing position. "I thought I was very clear," he growls into his ear, "about you stayin' away from girls." 

Rafael, Olivia and Fin are tending to Amanda, who's brushing off their concerns while bleeding heavily from the nose. "Guys, really, I'm okay." Her eyes are on Sonny the whole time, so scared that she was going to lose him forever. 

When Olivia and Rafael get home that night, Jade is curled up underneath the covers of the bed and they find out from Lucy that she hasn't moved all day. 

"Jade," Olivia sits down on the bed next to Jade and reaches a hand out to stroke her hair back from her face. "What's wrong, sweet girl?"

A long silence passes between them, Olivia's stomach knotting tighter with each empty second. Finally, Jade speaks up, so quietly that Oliva isn't sure she hears her correctly. "I was scared you wouldn't come back."

"Oh, Jade." She lays down on the bed next to her and pulls her close, kissing the top of her head, blinking back tears. "I will always come home to you, my sweet girl." 

She can't ever promise her that. She shouldn't. But she can't just tell her daughter that she might leave her alone in the world some day.

"He hurt her," Jade says.

"What?"

"Aunt Amanda. He hurt her. It was in the news."

Olivia's chest sinks. She and Rafael try to shield the girls as much as they can, but Jade is perceptive, she's older. They haven't been careful enough. The news crews had surrounded them the minute they left the building and Olivia had been so angry that harm had come to her detective, she hadn't thought about the possibility of her girls seeing their aunt hurt.

She sits back against the headboard and pulls Jade up so her head is rested in her lap. 

"Yes, someone hurt her, but we took her to the hospital, and Uncle Sonny is staying with her for a few days to make sure she's okay." Olivia traces circles on Jade's back like if she were an infant, the ritual motion soothing for both of them.

"You were gone a long time," Jade says quietly, as if she's afraid to speak the words out loud. She turns and buries her face in Olivia's stomach, clutching the fabric of her blouse.

"We were," Olivia agrees. "Did it scare you?"

"What if…"

She doesn't finish her question, but Olivia knows what she means. "Sometimes scary things happen, Jade, but that's why we have a team. Me and Uncle Fin and Aunt Amanda and Uncle Sonny…we're a family, and we watch out for each other. And we have your daddy, too, hm? So we can all help each other. It's our job to help people when scary things happen to them."

"But she's safe now?"

"Yes."

"And you and Dad are safe?"

She nods against the top of Jade's head, tears spilling into her hair. "I love you, Jade. So, so much."

"Love you."

She peppers the top of Jade's head with kisses, eliciting an eyeroll and a groan of dismay. " _Mom_!" She whines, pulling away from Olivia slightly.

Olivia laughs and pushes a strand of hair out of Jade's face. It's one of the only times since she's met her that the woman has seen her act like a kid her age, rather than an adult. "What do you say we get ready for dinner, sweetheart?"

"Okay," Jade says, climbing off the bed. She hesitates at the foot of the bed before throwing herself into Olivia's arms. "I'm really glad you're okay, Mom." 

Olivia rubs her back soothingly. "Me too, baby." She lags behind her daughter as they head back to the living room; she knows the exhaustion will overtake her now that Tony is sitting in a cell.

"All good?" Rafael asks.

"Yeah. Audrey, go wash your hands for dinner, sweet girl. Jade will help you." 

"Okay, Mommy," she puts down her crayons and scampers into the bathroom with Jade and shuts the door behind her.

Olivia knows she only has a few minutes before Jade and Audrey come strolling out of the bathroom. 

Olivia takes a deep breath to gather herself before helping Rafael set the table. A minute here and there is all she can afford. Her girls still need her. So she calls the girls, prepared to do whatever it takes for them to feel safe and secure.

* * *

"I don't give a damn what you have to do," he hisses to the person on the other end of the phone. "Just find her. Bring her to me, preferably alive." 

He hangs up and paces the room, running his fingers along her face in the picture. "You and I are finally going to be reunited, beautiful. I'm not goin' to let you go so easily this time." 


	3. Rise Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Lurking just below the hurt is a primal anger, something so raw she's not even sure what to do with it. She's going to make it stop, she's going to put an end to her family's suffering if she has to die trying."

There is an odd feeling churning in the pit of her stomach, like she can't quite trust her instincts; convinced that something is wrong while at the same time doubting herself for thinking that someone might actually be out there in the darkness just watching and waiting for her and Rafael or their kids.

Olivia has not been feeling well lately, either physically or emotionally, all the stress of her personal life combined with the insanity of her job slowly chipping away at her ability to get adequate rest and eat a proper diet and exercise regularly, and she wonders if her mind is playing tricks on her when she looks out Audrey's window and sees a shadow sneak along the brick wall of the restaurant across the street. 

They've finally found a new house, something big enough for all of them that's still close enough to the precinct, but is also in walking distance to the schools.

"Mama?"

Olivia turns around and smiles softly at Audrey, the little girl sitting on her bed waiting for Olivia to help her get ready for bed. "Sorry, baby. Mommy just thought she saw something." She pulls out her  _Tinkerbell_ nightgown from the dresser. 

Audrey holds her arms above her head and Olivia gently pulls off her long-sleeve sweater. "Oh, no," she teases as she slides the nightgown over her head. "Where did Audrey go?" 

"Here, Mommy," Audrey giggles and pokes her head through the top. 

"There you are," Olivia laughs. "Can you take off your leggings for Mama?" Audrey nods and Olivia tosses the shirt in the hamper in the corner.

Audrey hands off the rainbow leggings and jumps off the bed, grabbing her favorite book. She flops back on her bed. "Story, Mommy. Please." Audrey crawls closer to Olivia, cuddling into her side. 

Olivia kisses the top of Audrey's head, holding her tighter. "Okay, sweet girl. One story, then bed, okay?" Audrey nods and hands Olivia the book,  _The Wonderful Things You Will Be_. 

She finishes the story and hands her Daisy, Audrey's stuffed dog, and she tucks her under the blanket next to her. Olivia bends down and kisses Audrey's forehead. "Good night, my sweet girl. I love you. I'll see you in the morning." 

"Promise?" She looks up at Olivia with heavy-lidded eyes and clutches onto Daisy. 

"I promise,  sweetheart." Olivia knows that Jade is not the only one nervous about people leaving, though Audrey is still unable to articulate it. Her hand is on the doorknob, poised to leave, when she hears a little voice behind her.

"Love you, Mama." 

* * *

_He's driving a blue station wagon. Jade can hear the engine pulling up in the driveway and when she looks out the window, her breath catches in her throat._

_She's never seen this man before, doesn't know what he likes or what she'll have to do to keep him away from Audrey._

_Max invites him inside and she hurries into Audrey's room, waking her up from her nap. She doesn't want to scare her, but she needs her to stay away._

_They've come up with a safe word, something Jade can say to get Audrey to hide without her raising suspicion or scaring her sister._

_"Audrey." She whispers, brushing Audrey's hair back from her face. She shakes her shoulders gently. "Wake up."_

_Audrey stirs and sits up, rubbing her eyes. "Jade!" She throws her arms up for Jade to hold her, but she doesn't comply. Audrey grabs her Barbie from the toy box next to her bed and holds it out for her to take."You gonna play dollies with me now?"_

_"Later," she promises, looking behind her. She can hear their footsteps. "Audrey, we're going to get some ice cream, okay?"_

_Audrey nods and jumps off the bed, running into her closet just as they've been practicing. She hides behind the stack of boxes, looking up at her sister. "I do good, Jade?"_

_Jade nods, arranging the clothes to hide her completely. "You did really good." She brushes a hand over Audrey's hair. "Stay here until I come and get you, okay? Don't come out for anyone else. Promise."_

_Audrey beams, happy that her sister praised her hiding abilities. She likes this game. "Okay, Jade. I promise I'll hide really good."_

_Jade smiles softly at Audrey and closes the door. She hurries back to her own bedroom just before Max comes in with his new client in tow._

_"Stand up." Max demands, grabbing Jade roughly from the bed and pushing her towards the man._

_He hums contentedly, licking his lips. "You said she'd be worth it, but you never said nothin' about her face."_

_Jade is thrown onto the bed and she turns away from him, doesn't want to see his face. She focuses on the wall, her face contorting into a mask of pain when she feels Max grab her hair and force her head towards the man._

_She feels the bed dip and the man is stroking her hair back from her face, shaking her shoulders gently._

_"Jade."_

_She doesn't even realize she's crying until she feels his fingers on her cheeks, brushing away her tears. Why's he being so gentle? They're never gentle._

_"Jade, sweetheart. Wake up for me. It's okay."_

Jade jerks awake and sits up, her breath catching in her throat. Olivia. She scoots as far back on the bed as she can and pulls her knees up to her chest, hiding her face in her arms. 

She can still feel his hands trailing all over her body, in places they shouldn't be. 

"Jade, honey, it's okay. You're safe now. It was just a bad dream, sweetheart."

Jade nods. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, rocking back and forth. 

_"Be a good little girl for me and maybe I won't go searchin' for the other one."_

"Audrey," she gasps, and she clambers off the bed, but her legs are so shaky that she just falls to the floor with a sickening  _thud._ She lets out a loud, pained cry. 

"Jade!" Olivia is at her side in an instant, checking her over for any injuries. When she goes to touch her to make sure she's not hurt, Jade whimpers and scrambles into the corner of the room, curling into a ball. 

"Don't do that." She cries, covering her face with her arms. "Please. It hurts when you do that. Stop being so rough with me." 

"Honey, I'm not touching you." When Olivia tries to get closer to make sure Jade doesn't injure herself again, her daughter fights back, striking out at her with flailing hands and feet while begging repeatedly to stop being hurt.

She's screaming Audrey's name, telling her to run, and Olivia's heart clenches in her chest when she thinks about what these poor girls had to go through without anyone to help them.

" _Jade_." Olivia's voice is firm but soft, and she easily overpowers her by pinning her arms to he r sides and then pulling her into her lap, rocking her from side to side while she sobs and struggles, Olivia shushing her. "I've got you, honey. You're safe. You're okay." 

Jade seems to get a second wind, struggling wildly in Olivia's arms, scrabbling at the arms wrapped around her waist, trying to get free. "No! Please, you can't hurt her! Please!"

"Shh, baby. I'm not going to hurt her. She's safe and so are you. I'm right here, honey. I've got you." 

Jade writhes against her in one last attempt at escape before she finally relaxes in her mother's embrace. She sobs into the crook of her neck, her fists clutching Olivia's shirt tightly.  "I can't get him off of me. I can't get him away from me," Jade is sobbing brokenly as her small hands clutch desperately onto the front of Olivia's shirt. "He's all over me; I can feel him inside of me. God, I'm going to be sick. Please make it stop, Mommy,  _please_. He's hurting me! It hurts, Mommy, it  _hurts_."

"Oh, Jade." Olivia chokes out, running a shaky hand up and down Jade's back. She presses her lips to the top of her head, drawing in a shaky breath. "I'm so sorry he hurt you, sweet girl." 

Olivia presses a damp cheek to the top of Jade's head, holding her tighter.  She's never hurt for anyone else this much. This is a different kind of ache, something deep inside of her soul that she doesn't think will ever go away. It consumes her entire being and, had she been alone, she would have let it win. 

Lurking just below the hurt is a primal anger, something so raw she's not even sure what to do with it. She's going to make it stop, she's going to put an end to her family's suffering if she has to die trying. 

"Shh, baby. I'm right here. Mommy's right here, my sweet, sweet girl." She rocks Jade in her arms, much like she does with Audrey when she's scared or upset.

"Jade, you are absolutely freezing," Olivia murmurs worriedly into Jade's ear as she takes in the icy cold feel of the skin on her bare arms and the clammy quality of the hands that are still scrambling wildly against her shirt, like Jade is trying to climb inside of her clothing with her. "I'm going to get you warmed up, okay? We're going to get you tucked into bed, all cozy under the covers with Daddy on one side and me on the other, alright? You'll be safe and sound right in the middle of us."

"Mommy, he won't stop touching me," Jade whimpers, her hands sliding around the back of Olivia's neck and gripping on so tightly that she is on the verge of choking her. "His hands are all over me and his tongue..." Jade's voice is cut off abruptly as she presses a hand over her mouth to stifle a gag, and Olivia's tears are flowing in earnest now, the sight of her daughter in such agony causing an intense physical pain to emanate from her chest and spread throughout her body.

"Okay, honey, we're going to make him stop," she soothes in a quiet tone as she tries to remain calm in the face of Jade's prolonged flashback. She shifts slightly on the floor and tightens her hold on Jade, careful about where she puts her hands as she does not want to induce an even more acute episode.

"We're going to get off the floor and into bed now. I'm going to pick you up, okay, sweetheart?"

Jade just nods and hides her face in Olivia's shoulder, holding on tighter, wrapping her legs around her waist and her arms around her neck. 

Olivia stands, hefting Jade into her embrace with a slight grunt, holding her to her chest as she carries her to their bed. She's so  _light_ , so underweight. 

She carefully sets her down on the bed and covers her with the blankets, careful not to wake Rafael. Jade is grasping at her hands, her shirt, anything to make her stay. 

"Okay, honey. I'm here. I'm right here." She climbs into the bed next to Jade and pulls her closer, her hand rubbing wide, sweeping circles on her back in an attempt to comfort her. 

She hears a noise in the doorway and she holds on tighter to Jade, her head snapping up to see Audrey clutching Daisy, her tiny fist rubbing one eye as she looks at Olivia.

"Mama? Me too, please."

"Oh, sweetheart, come here." Olivia pats the space next to her and Audrey hurries over to the bed, climbing up and cuddling close to Rafael, who is still sleeping soundly. "Look at you two," she whispers, running a hand over Audrey's hair. 

"My girls. Mommy's sweet, sweet girls." She presses a kiss to Jade's head, then Audrey's. "I love you both so, so much." 

* * *

When Jade stirs hours later, she hears Audrey's screams from downstairs. She can't climb out of bed fast enough. Her first thought is that their father got out and tracked them down. Dread twists in her gut and she wrenches the door open, Audrey's screams getting louder. Did he find them and hurt Olivia and Rafael? Jade's stomach churns and her heart seizes in her chest. They can't be hurt. 

"Uncle Fin, that tickles!" 

Jade feels as though she could collapse with the relief. She should know better. They're safe now, with their new parents. They're home. 

She stumbles downstairs and hesitates at the door.  She can hear the clamoring of her parents and Audrey in the living room. Every so often, Amanda, Sonny or Fin's voice floats into the mix.

It's a strange feeling to be just in the other room and feel so far removed.

"She wakes," Fin teases as Jade strolls into the living room to join the rest of her family. He stands from the couch and moves over to Jade, wrapping her in his arms. "How've you been, baby girl?"

Jade tenses in his arms for only a second before relaxing and returning the hug. It's just Fin. She's fine. She is.  _She is_.

There's this overwhelming need to hold Audrey, make sure she's okay, even though she's mere feet away from her, laughing and playing with Sonny and Amanda.

This is what she's always craved, this normalcy, a real family to love and protect her and Audrey. It's what she's always promised her sister. 

_"Jade?" Audrey stands in the doorway of Jade's bedroom, Daisy clutched tightly in one hand while the other rubs her eyes. Her bottom lip quivers and she cowers in the doorway, hugging herself._

_Jade stirs and opens her eyes. She quickly moves from the bed over to Audrey, crouching down in front of her. "Audrey. What is it? What's wrong?" Her voice is no louder than a whisper, careful not to wake their father._

_Fat tears roll down her cheeks and she flinches when Jade reaches out to brush them away with the pads of her thumbs._

_"Audrey, can you tell Sissy what happened?" Fear prickles along the length of her spine. Her heart thumps in her chest, hysteria grips her throat so tight she can barely speak. She shivers and fights to keep still, focused on Audrey._

_As overheated as she had been in her tormented sleep before Audrey woke her, the chill of the cold night air is nipping at her skin now, causing goosebumps all over her body._

_"Audrey, please tell me so I can help." Jade says, panic pulling tight across her chest. She has to help. Whatever's wrong, whatever happened, Jade has control. But what if he hurt her? What if he had finally gotten to her and all of Jade's previous attempts to protect her had been in vain? No. She won't let that happen, can't let that happen._

_"I had a accident." Audrey cries, hiccuping with her guilt._

_Jade grabs hold of her with such urgency that it startles the young girl. Bits of apology break through Audrey's sniffles and Jade hushes them, raking her fingers over and over through her sister's hair. "Sissy's not mad, Audrey. Okay?" Audrey nods against Jade's shoulder. "I love you. Do you know how much?"_

_Audrey takes a step back, rubbing at her eyes, a lopsided smile sweeping her face. "Higher than the sky."_

_"Higher than the sky is high," Jade affirms, stretching Audrey's arms up. "And deeper," she continues, tickling Audrey's belly, eliciting a squeal, "than the ocean's deep. And longer," she promises, opening Audrey's arms to the length of the doorway, their fingers laced, "than forever."_

_"Promise?"_

_Jade nods, holds out a pinky and Audrey grins, entwining their fingers together. "Pinky swear." She takes Audrey's hand and guides her to the bathroom for a bath. "We're gonna get out of here soon, Audrey. Someone out there is going to love us. No more fear. No more pain."_

It's everything they need - peace in the middle of a roaring sea.

"Are you hungry, honey? I can make you breakfast."

Jade startles at Olivia's voice and she shakes her head, moving to the couch and sitting next to Amanda. She lets the feeling of Amanda's fingers through her hair calm her, her head coming to rest on the woman's shoulder.

"Jade, Auntie 'Manda's gonna make me look pretty!" Audrey says, bounding over to Jade and climbing into her lap. 

Jade lifts her head off of Amanda's shoulder and fixes her with a glare. "What? Why do you want to make her look pretty?"

"I just promised her I'd braid her hair." Amanda whispers, her free hand travelling up to grab her own braid. "She wanted to have one of her own." She continues the soothing gesture. "I can do yours too, if you want."

Jade just nods and swallows against the lump in her throat. She pulls Audrey closer. "Sorry," she mumbles. "I didn't mean..."

"It's okay, honey." Amanda murmurs, her tone barely rising above a whisper. "I know."

Jade doesn't respond. 

* * *

"I'm sorry," Jade mumbles, ducking her head again. The panic is clawing at her chest, making it difficult to breathe. She doesn't usually like people touching her unless she can see them. 

Amanda lets the braid fall from her fingers and leans around Jade's shoulder to look at her. "No more apologies." She chides gently. "Am I hurting you?"

"No," Jade whispers, wiping her palms across her jeans. Her hands are shaking and her breathing quickens. Her fingernails are digging into her thighs and she stares at the wall in front of her.

She's glad Audrey had left already, eager to show off Amanda's work to their parents. She doesn't need to see her like this. So vulnerable, so  _afraid_.

"Do you want me to stop?"

Jade shakes her head, gaze focused on the wall. She doesn't want to be afraid of something so minuscule, rendered speechless over a stupid braid. She's fine. She's  _okay_. "I'm fine," she whispers. "I'm fine."

Amanda straightens, the bed sinking beneath her, and gathers Jade's hair again, gently pulling it into a French braid. A change of subject is what Jade needs. "Are you excited to go back to school?" 

A long silence permeates the room before Jade finally shrugs. She can't even get her hair done without having a panic attack. The thought of going back to school is nausea-inducing. 

Amanda tucks the tail of the braid up under itself and pins it in place at the base of Jade's skull. "Is there somethin' else we should be talkin' about?" She asks gently, shifting on Jade's bed to face her.

"Audrey decided her favorite color this week is magenta. Do you want to talk about that?" She deadpans and Amanda raises her hand to try and make peace with a stubborn flyaway. Jade flinches. "I'm sorry."

"Hey," Amanda starts, holding her hands out in front of her so that Jade can see them. "I'm not going to hurt you. Okay?" She tilts up Jade's chin to reveal her tears. "Jade, we're here for all of it. Even the stuff that scares you or you think is stupid." Beneath her fingers, Amanda feels every muscle in Jade's body pull taut. "It won't change how we look at you. We're not here to judge. I want to help."

"He shoved it…down my throat and wrapped his hands around my neck," Jade sputters, and the way she withdraws, it's as if she's waiting to be struck. "I was mouthing off. I wouldn't stop talking...and that was how he decided to shut me up. He was rough; I don't think he realized, he was so drunk, and then when I couldn't breathe..." Her voice breaks, and she emits something close to a whimper.

"When you couldn't breathe, what?" Amanda encourages, taking both of Jade's hands. She's making progress, opening up. "It's okay."

The motel room flashes through Amanda's mind, Charles Patton hovering over her, his fingers digging into her thighs.

Amanda takes a breath and holds onto it. 

"He was angry, like it was my fault, and he yanked it out and…" Jade exhales, her whole being trembling. Amanda waits her out. "He came up behind me. He put it between my legs, said there were worse places it could end up if I was going to whine. He was talking about..." She chokes on a sob and hides her face in her hands. 

It hits her then and Amanda swallows down her anger. "He was talking about Audrey." Her stomach churns at the thought of what he did to Jade, what he's still doing to her mind. 

There's this overwhelming urge to take Jade and Audrey into her arms and protect them from the evils of the world. An intense need to overcompensate for what happened with Patton, perhaps. To shield them from their own memories, afraid their pasts will destroy them like hers did to her. 

"I don't want to feel like this anymore."

"Baby," Amanda starts, her voice full. "You never have to be afraid we'll think you're weak. You're already the strongest kid I've ever met. You're one of the strongest  _people_ I've ever met. Nothing will change that. So don't feel like you're on some timeline. And don't ever feel like we're not right beside you, no matter what. We all love you, and we're so proud of you.  _I'm_ proud of you. All the time. You're stronger and braver and more amazing than I was at twelve. That's how I know you're going to be okay."

Jade looks at her.

"If you're this strong now," Amanda says, "you're already unstoppable."

* * *

Her name is Kimmy Faulkner. She's the fifth girl to be abducted in the last month and Olivia is ready to catch this man. 

The girls range in age from three to five years old, and little Kimmy is four - too close to home for both Olivia and Rafael.

Just like the rest of the girls, Kimmy has been released after days of torture, found outside a bodega with extensive injuries to both her head and her genitals.

It takes Olivia and Fin twenty minutes to get there, Fin making sure that the crime scene isn't contaminated while Olivia stays with Kimmy. 

"Hi, Kimmy. My name's Olivia." She climbs into the back of the bus with the girl, who's in hysterics with all of the strangers poking and prodding at her. "It's okay, sweetheart. These aren't bad men, hm? They want to help you, make sure you get back to your mommy and daddy safely. They're so worried about you." 

Kimmy stays silent as she looks up at Olivia and holds onto her hand, her tiny fist wrapped around Olivia's finger. 

"That's it, honey. You're doing so good." She whispers, her free hand brushing back Kimmy's hair. "You know, I have a little girl, just around your age. She's obsessed with My Little Pony. Do you like My Little Pony?"

Kimmy's eyes light up and she nods vigorously, but she still doesn't say anything. She sees the paramedic come closer to her with a needle and crawls closer to Olivia, ear-splitting screams emitting from her mouth. She doesn't like needles. Needles put you to sleep and when you're asleep, you can't say no.

The sounds of Kimmy's cries break Olivia's heart, but she is now even more determined to catch the son of a bitch and put him away for life. 

Olivia stays with Kimmy until her parents arrive at the hospital. They're overwhelmed with relief, the mother, Valerie, even going so far as to hug Olivia.

"Thank you so much," the father, Walter, cries, holding his daughter's hand while she sleeps. "I can't tell you how grateful we are."

Olivia just nods, overcome with emotion herself, her mind conjuring up images of Audrey laid up in the hospital bed, too afraid to even speak. She excuses herself and pulls out her phone from her pocket, dialing Lucy's number. She's never needed her girls more. 

_"Hey, Liv. Everything okay?"_

Olivia's voice catches in her throat. She hears Jade and Audrey laughing in the background and she has to blink back her tears. They're fine. Her girls are okay. "Everything's fine, Lucy. Can you put me on speaker?" 

_Lucy catches on and she quickly puts Olivia on speaker. "Hey, girls, Mommy's on the phone."_

Olivia hears Audrey gasp and there's a shuffling on the phone before she hears her little voice. It makes Olivia's heart swell.

_"Mama!"_

"Hi, baby. Are you girls having fun with Lucy?" 

_"Yeah!" Audrey and Jade both chirp at the same time._

_"I drawed you a picture." Audrey says._

"You did? I can't wait to see it." 

_"Is Dad with you?" Jade asks. "He promised he'd help me with my Spanish."_

Olivia smiles softly. Rafael and Jade had developed quite a bond, the former feeling the need to make up for what Jade missed while she and Audrey were living with Max, even going so far as teaching her Spanish. "Not right now, sweetheart." 

_"Okay," Jade sounds dejected._

"How about I tell him to call you when I get back to the precinct?" Olivia suggests, unable to go on letting her daughter think that her father has just forgotten about her.

_"Promise?"_

"I promise, honey." 

_"Me too, Mama!" Audrey chirps, bouncing on the balls of her feet with excitement. "I talk to Daddy, too!"_

"I'm sure he would love to talk to you, baby." 

"Lieutenant," Kimmy's doctor approaches her just as Audrey starts to tell her about her day. "Sorry to interrupt. I've got the results of the rape kit."

"It's fine," she assures Doctor Brightman. "Hey, girls? Mommy's really sorry, but I've got to go now, okay? I'll see you really soon. I love you both so much." 

_"Love you," they say in unison before the call is disconnected._

"Sorry," Olivia apologizes, stuffing her phone back in her pocket. 

"Don't worry about it," Doctor Brightman waves her off. "I've got three myself. I'd be lying if I said that I've never done the same thing. It kind of comes with the territory of our jobs, I think; the constant need to check up on them." 

Olivia nods in agreement.

* * *

When Olivia and Rafael get home that night, they see the note taped to their door. 

_Soon._

Olivia's blood runs cold and she hurries inside, Rafael not far behind. "Lucy!"

Before Lucy can respond, Audrey comes bounding out of Jade's bedroom and into Rafael's waiting arms. "Mama! Daddy!"

"Audrey," he breathes, holding her tightly. " _Mi_ _niña._ You're okay." He rocks her back and forth in his arms and places a kiss to her temple. 

Rafael hands Audrey over to Olivia and then announces he's going to check on Jade and he hurries off down the hall, calling for their older daughter.

Audrey lifts her head off Olivia's shoulder. "What's wrong, Mommy?" She raises her hand and places it on Olivia's cheek. "Why you crying?"

Olivia lets out a half-laugh-half-sob and places her hand over Audrey's. "Oh, baby, Mommy's just so, so happy you're okay." 

When Rafael barges into Jade's room, he sees her and Lucy sitting on the bed, the latter painting Jade's nails while they converse. Jade hears the door bang against the wall and she jumps, causing Lucy to mess up her nails. 

"Dad! What's wrong?"

Rafael is at her side in an instant, checking her over for any signs of harm. "Jade, look at me." He places his fingers under her chin and turns her face towards his. "You're okay?  _No estás herido_ _?_ You're not hurt?"

Jade looks at Rafael and she suddenly realizes that things are a lot more serious than she initially thought. "I'm fine, Dad. What's going on?"

Rafael can breathe again, his girls are okay. He turns to Lucy, who's staring at the scene in front of her with wide, brown eyes. "You haven't seen anything unusual? No one lurking outside the house, no strange cars? Nothing?"

Lucy shakes her head. "If I did, I would've called you right away." She assures, looking between Jade and Rafael. "Everything's okay, right?"

"Fine," he waves Lucy off but he's still wary to take his eyes off Jade. He thought he'd lost his girls forever and to see them safe and sound is something he can only compare to winning a case as the adrenaline leaves his body. He tells himself it's just a prank, some cruel joke the neighborhood kids thought up.

Not half an hour later, Fin is banging on the door. Nerves are racing through his entire body and he can't stop thinking the worst. Nothing's going to happen to them, not if he can help it. 

Olivia swings the door open and the relief is palpable when he sees she's unharmed. "The girls?" He asks, stepping inside. Both the girls, Rafael and Lucy are all okay and Fin can finally breathe again.

"They're fine," she assures him and her voice catches. What if they weren't? What if this had been a different scenario, one where Olivia and Rafael hadn't been so lucky to still have their family?

"Uncle Fin!" Audrey hurries over to Fin and wraps her arms around his neck. "Lucy made me pretty!" She holds out a hand with pink nail polish for Fin to see. 

"You're always pretty, baby girl." Fin tells her, adjusting her in his arms and throwing her up in the air before catching her and tipping her upside down, eliciting a fit of giggles. 

"I've got a uni on the way and I'm gonna spend the night on the couch." Fin tells Olivia. He sets Audrey down and she scampers in the direction of her room. 

"Audrey, baby, hold on..." 

But Olivia's words fall on deaf ears and she's already in her room, door closing shut behind her where Olivia can't see her anymore. She has to  force herself to slow her breathing. She's safe. Rafael is safe. Her girls are safe. Her team will protect her, no matter what.

"Hey, Liv?" Rafael places a hand on Olivia's arm, squeezing gently. "They're okay." 

Olivia nods, her eyes travelling to where Jade and Fin are sitting on the couch, watching Jade's favorite movie, The Object of My Affection. 

"I just want our children to be safe," Olivia gasps out around the sudden lump that has risen in her throat, a shiver running down her spine when Rafael reaches up to caress her damp cheek with a smooth hand that lingers there.

"They  _are_ safe, Olivia," he assures her with a quiet fierceness, Olivia feeling herself calming down bit by bit as his fingertips stroke back and forth across her cheekbone. "We're both here with them and we're going to get to the bottom of things, I promise. But what you need the most right now is a good night's sleep. You look absolutely exhausted."

"I don't care what happens to me as long as you and those girls are okay," she whispers as she stares imploringly at Rafael.

"I care what happens to you," Rafael whispers back as their eyes remain locked on one another, his hand sliding down to Olivia's arm and resting there. "Our _girls_ care what happens to you. You'll be no good to us as tired as you are."

Olivia knows Rafael is right - she's dead on her feet. She's nearly working herself sick trying to catch the son of a bitch who is abducting babies from their homes. She's just about to turn in for the night when she hears the scream from Audrey's bedroom and bolts towards the door with Fin, Rafael and Jade close behind. 

"Mommy!"

Olivia's heart stops when she sees the empty bedroom. 

Audrey is gone.


	4. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A small bit of comfort warms Olivia's chest. Her team really is in it for the long haul. Her team is her family."

Olivia can't move. Her heart is pounding in her chest and she's sure that Jade can hear it from right beside her. She can't speak, can't cry, can't  _breathe._

Fin and Rafael had rushed outside the moment they saw the empty bedroom, the latter ordering Jade to stay put. He knows that if he hadn't, she would've been right behind them. 

"Mom?" 

Olivia turns to Jade numbly and pulls her into her arms, holding her tightly. Jade stiffens, surprised, before she relaxes in Olivia's arms and hides her face in Olivia's shoulder. "Are we gonna find her?"

Olivia nods against Jade's hair, holding onto her tighter, as if she's afraid that he will come back for Jade and yank her right out of her arms. "I promise we're not going to stop looking until she's back home with us."

Jade nods against her shoulder, gripping her blouse tightly. They need to find her. Audrey is all Jade has, her only flesh and blood. Nothing can happen to her. 

Nothing is  _going_ to happen to her. 

"Son of a bitch is gone," Fin's voice is hard as him and Rafael return. "I'll call it in." He pulls his phone out of his pocket and starts making phone calls. The faster this is reported, the sooner he can bring Audrey back to her family. Unharmed. 

Everything seems to go in slow motion and before Olivia knows it, her house is a crime scene. Amanda and Sonny show up, along with a plethora of CSU techs and unis. She can't take her eyes off Jade, not even while the uni - Reyes - asks her questions about what happened. 

"Lieutenant Benson," Officer Reyes places a hand on Olivia's arm to get her attention. "I know this is hard, but we need to cover all our bases. You know that. If this was someone else..."

"But it's  _not_ someone else. It's my daughter." She looks towards the kitchen where Jade is being questioned by Amanda. She refuses to leave Rafael's side, even while he's being questioned by Sonny. "I'm sorry." She whispers, her attention focused on Reyes again. "I just..." 

"What are you doing?!" Jade rushes over to the CSU tech, ignoring Amanda's attempts to calm her. "You can't take that!" 

Olivia jumps up from her spot on the couch and her heart sinks when she sees what the tech is holding. "Jade, sweetheart, it's okay." She nods at the tech, who looks completely bewildered at Jade's outburst. "It's okay, honey. It's evidence." 

"It's not okay!" Jade protests. She feels Olivia's hand on her arm, just tight enough to hold her back from going after the man. "He can't take Daisy! That stuffed dog is the first thing she's gonna want when we find her."

Olivia pulls Jade close, running a hand through her hair. "It's okay." She whispers, over and over, like a mantra. She closes her eyes against the tears, holding onto Jade tighter. 

She hopes against hope that it will be.

* * *

_The drive to his house is too long, too quiet and Jade knows exactly what's going to happen, what he has in mind for her and Audrey._

_She looks over at her sister, sleeping in the car seat next to her, and holds on tightly to her hand. She has a plan and she's going to follow through with it tonight, no matter how scared she is, no matter how bad he hurts her. She's getting them away from him and his clients. She has to. For Audrey._

_The car comes to a stop and Jade climbs out, her pulse thumping in her head and her legs shaking beneath her, struggling to support her weight. She sees a car in the driveway - a red sedan - and she takes note of the license plate. Just in case. "I don't want to do this." She whispers and Max is grabbing Audrey from the car seat - a little too roughly, if you ask Jade._

_"Too bad." He growls and Audrey's awake now, crying because she's tired and she's only three years old. She needs her sleep. "You know the deal. You do exactly what he wants. What happens if you don't?"_

_Jade wants to rip Audrey from his arms and hold onto her forever, soothe and protect her. She doesn't know how to defend herself, doesn't know how to fight back. "Audrey gets hurt." She whispers, staring at the ground in front of her._

_As if to prove that he's serious, he gives Audrey one hard smack across the back of the head and she stops crying. She stops moving._

_Jade freezes and stares up at Max with wide eyes. She's sure he killed her, hit her so hard that her little heart stopped beating. Then she hears it again, hears her sister crying, screaming for her, and she gets her breath back._

_She's done research. They called it abusive head trauma. He could've killed her. Jade isn't sure if she'd ever get through that._

_He grabs Jade's arm and practically drags her to the door. It swings open even before he has a chance to knock, as if this client has been watching for them, and he probably has._

_Max pushes Jade inside so hard that she has to grab onto the wall to keep from falling. "I'll be back when he's done with you. You know the rules."_

_Jade just nods and she jumps when he slams the door behind him. She stands in the hallway, waiting further instruction. He grabs her hair with the hand that's not holding Audrey close to him and drags her towards his bedroom. "It's gonna be a fun night, girls."_

"Jade." 

Her head snaps up and she looks over at Olivia, who's holding a brown paper bag in one hand, the other rubbing soothing circles on her back. "I'm not hungry," she whispers. Her stomach has been churning ever since Audrey was taken. She can't stop thinking about what he's doing to her while she's not there to keep her safe. 

Jade's supposed to keep her safe.

Thirteen hours. She's been gone thirteen hours and they still have no leads. No suspects. Her parents haven't let Jade out of their sight, for fear that he will come back for her. 

Not being able to chase the son of a bitch down herself has Olivia focusing all of her attention on Jade. Aside from a few tears shed in the privacy of their bedroom, she is doing her best not to let her emotions get the best of her. Audrey needs her to be strong.

_Jade_ needs her to be strong. 

She'll be damned if she lets her daughters down. 

Rafael has been trying to get her to open up, making sure she's okay, both physically and emotionally. She doesn't want to worry him even more, so she tells him she's fine and that she'll be better once they find Audrey.

Amanda has just left their house after dropping off breakfast for them and she has  the urge to snatch Jade away, to steal them all away, fit a shield around the family and drown out the hurt of the world.

"I know," Olivia says, setting the bag on the counter. "I know you're not, sweetheart. But it's been hours since you've eaten an actual meal, hm? Half a granola bar and herbal tea do not a meal make."

Jade scrapes her palms along her jeans, chewing at her bottom lip. 

"Just try. Your body needs fuel, honey. I don't want Daddy to have to pick you up off the floor."

This seems to motivate her appropriately, though Olivia feels a tad guilty for the way in which she has manipulated the imagery.

Jade reaches for the bag, unveiling a styrofoam container filled to the brim with potatoes, an omelette underneath. She's not used to so much food.

While they lived with their father, they'd be lucky if they got one full meal a week. Jade would always sneak food for Audrey, and on one occassion, when Jade was so hungry she was physically sick, Audrey had snuck a piece of bread for her.

_"Jade. I gotted you some food." Audrey hurries over to Jade and climbs up onto her bed, holding a single slice of white bread she was able to grab while their father is passed out on the couch._

_She wanted to make her a peanut butter sandwich, but she was scared their daddy would wake up and Jade says she's not allowed to use a kinfe._

_Jade rolls over to face Audrey, her stomach roiling in protest. She's so hungry. It's been days since he let them eat and she has been so focused on making sure that Audrey is well-nourished and healthy that she's neglected to take care of herself._

_"You gotta eat, Jade." She shoves the slice of bread into Jade's hand. "You gonna get sick."_

_Jade picks apart the slice of bread, bringing a tiny piece to her mouth. She has to savor it, make it last. She doesn't know when he's going to feed them again. "Thanks, Audrey."_

_Audrey beams, happy she helped, and snuggles closer to her, resting her head on Jade's chest. "I make you better?"_

_Jade nods and presses her lips to the top of Audrey's head, pulling her closer. She's already starting to feel better. "You always make me feel better, Audrey."_

While they were on their own, they practically lived off of McDonalds. It was all she could afford with the years of birthday money she saved up from their grandparents.

Sometimes, when Olivia and Rafael are working late, they stop at McDonalds on the way home. 

Jade always gets the kids meals so that Audrey can have her toy. 

Now, it's just a habit.

She just wants Audrey back. She needs to know that she's okay.

"Just eat what you can, alright?" Olivia says, picking up the second container. "One bite at a time. Nice and easy." Olivia takes in her first bite of her own food - french toast, watching as Jade pushes around her food with her fork. The utensil shakes in her hand. 

_"Open up for me, princess."_

She can't get that night out of her head, can't shake the feeling that this is more than a simple case gone awry. 

_He's standing behind her, touching her in places she shouldn't be touched. She doesn't move, doesn't say no. She knows what happens if she does._

_Audrey gets hurt._

_"Good girl," he whispers into her ear. He's suddenly inside of her, thrusting, and she bites her lip against the searing pain._

_Still, a whimper manages to escape her throat. It just hurts so much._

_He's pulling her hair now, turning her head to face Audrey, who's watching in fear. Jade wants to tell her to look away, that she shouldn't see her sister like this, but the pain is unbearable and she can't open her mouth without screaming in agony._

_"You gonna cry, sweetheart? You shouldn't be whining. If anything, you should be thankful." He licks his lips and grins at Audrey. "There's worse places it could end up, you know."_

"Jade?"

"Yeah." She stabs at a hashbrown but doesn't bring it to her mouth.

"Sweetheart, what is it?" Olivia sets aside her breakfast. "What's the matter, hm? You usually love this stuff. Do you feel sick?" 

"I'm fine."

"You're not," Olivia whispers, stroking Jade's hair, which she remembers brushing through earlier in the morning after her shower. It's still wet. "Jade, they're going to find her. They're so close."

Jade just nods and curls up on the couch. She's so exhausted, so emotionally drained that it's a chore just to speak. 

The shrill ringing of Olivia's phone causes them both to jump, a small whimper emitting from Jade's lips. She wishes she wasn't so on edge.

Olivia runs a hand over her hair and grabs her phone. "Benson." She answers tersely.

_"Liv, it's me."_

"Fin, hey." There's a tightness in her chest, her own stomach churning with dread. "Did they find something?" 

There's such a long pause on the other end of the line that Olivia thinks Fin has hung up. 

_"How're you guys holdin' up? How's Jade?"_

Olivia looks over at Jade, one hand still stroking her hair. She can see that the soothing motion has all but lulled her to sleep, so she grabs the blanket from the back of the couch and wraps it around Jade. "Struggling." She answers simply and her voice catches around the sudden lump in her throat.

_"She eatin' okay? Has she slept at all?"_

"Raf managed to get half a granola bar into her and she had a cup of herbal tea." Olivia blows out a breath. "An hour's sleep, maybe. Not for lack of trying." Jade's breathing evens out and she can tell that she's fallen asleep. "She just crashed again, but it won't be for long."

Olivia stands and moves into the kitchen with Rafael, both pairs of eyes on Jade, Olivia nursing a fresh coffee. "I just want to bring her back to us." Olivia whispers, emotion closing tight around her throat. "I want them both to be okay."

She puts the phone on speaker so that Rafael can hear what Fin is saying as well.

_"They're fighters, Liv. They don't know it yet, but they are." Fin says. "I just got a lead. The owner of a gas station in Queens called 911. Said there was a red sedan in the parking lot for the past ten hours. They saw blood in the back seat. It may be nothin', but..."_

Not even for a moment does Rafael let himself think that it's Audrey's. "What else did they find, Fin?" 

Olivia's eyes travel over to her daughter, who still looks to be asleep, clutching the blanket Olivia had draped over her. "Fin."

_"Pictures." Fin's voice is low, menacing. It scares even him. "Dozens of them. They found them in the glovebox. They're pictures of Jade. Theory is that he grabbed Audrey in the hopes that Jade would go after her."_

Jade has been listening to the conversation since Olivia had put Fin on speaker and she hears him talking about the red sedan. She knows. 

Her stomach is roiling at the thought of Audrey suffering at the hands of the same man who had caused Jade herself so much pain. She stands up and rushes into the bathroom, falling to her knees in front of the toilet and emptying the contents of her stomach. 

_"Can't wait to see you again, sweetheart. Maybe next time your sister can have some fun too."_

The relief Olivia feels over the evidence found in the car is short lived when she turns around and sees that Jade is gone, the blanket hanging haphazardly on the back of the couch. No. This can't be happening again. "Jade?" 

Olivia and Rafael hear a choking sound coming from the bathroom and it sounds like Jade is vomiting. 

Jade can hear Olivia behind her now, speaking softly to her while holding her hair back. When she finally has nothing left to throw up, her back comes to rest against Olivia's chest and she can feel her brushing her fingers over her forehead, checking for a fever. 

"You're not warm." She murmurs, carefully turning Jade around in her embrace so she can get a better look at her. "Maybe we need to take you to a doctor." S he suggests gently, concerned about Jade's sudden onset of nausea.

"No!" Jade responds quickly. "Please. I want to be here in case..." She trails off. 

"I can get you some Gravol," Olivia suggests. "It'll help you sleep." She is again met with resistance.

"No. I want to be awake." Jade says firmly. 

"Okay, no doctor and no medicine right now, but we'll see how you're doing in a little while," Olivia says, still very worried as she smoothes Jade's hair back from her face.

"The red sedan," Jade gasps out, her head falling on Olivia's shoulder. "I think...I think I know who has Audrey." 

Olivia's heart rate picks up speed at this new piece of information, but she does her best to remain outwardly calm, rubbing her hand up and down Jade's back. There's only one way that Jade would know who took her sister and it makes Olivia want to be sick as well. "Can you tell me his name, sweetheart?"

Jade hides her face in Olivia's shoulder, clutching tightly at her blouse. "Wyatt Harris."

* * *

There's a knock on the door forty-five minutes later and Rafael lets the detectives working Audrey's case inside. Jade is curled up on the couch again, head resting in Olivia's lap. 

"Jade." Detective Morgan, one of the more experienced detectives on the force, crouches down in front of Jade, notepad in one hand and a manila folder in the other. "We heard you may have some information that could help us find your sister?"

Morgan and her partner, Detective Larson, share a look that reminds Olivia of the looks she and Elliot would share. It's a look of sorrow, of sheer disbelief that the world can be so cruel. 

Jade sits up and looks at Olivia, who nods encouragingly. She's still clutching onto Olivia with a crushing grip and Rafael has moved to the couch, sitting on the other side of her. She's squeezed tightly in between the two people who make her feel safest, but she's still as scared as she was that night. "His name's Wyatt Harris." 

"How do you know him?" Larson asks, writing something down on his own legal pad. 

_"Take them off." He barks, laying on top of the bed. He's holding a pen and notepad, waiting to write down everything he sees. Everything he likes._

_This man is new, and she doesn't like the fact that he's taking notes. She guesses it's better than pictures. "I-I don't want to." She manages to stutter out. She immediately regrets it. He doesn't care what she wants and now she's put Audrey in danger._

_She's not supposed to say no._

_He stands up and grabs her by the arm, ripping off her shirt and unzipping her jeans, pulling them down, leaving her in nothing but her underwear._

_He wordlessly climbs back onto the bed and starts writing down what he likes, admiring the view._

_"You sure are a pretty one, darlin'. Can't wait until you...blossom."_

"Jade?" 

Jade snaps her head up to look at Morgan. She clears her throat, grabbing Rafael's hand and holding on tightly. 

She tries to focus on Rafael's hand squeezing hers, on Olivia's hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. She's safe. 

She's  _safe._

"How do you know Wyatt Harris?" Larson asks again. There's rumors, bits and pieces of Jade's past going around the precinct, but nothing is as bad as having to see what her own father has done to her firsthand. "It's okay. Take your time." 

Jade nods. "Our father," she starts, blinking until her tears are gone. "He introduced me to him." 

"Has he ever done anything that leads you to believe that Audrey is in danger?" 

"He  _kidnapped_ her," Jade snaps at Morgan. Her eyes are burning with ferocity and tears. "Of course she's in danger." 

"Jade." Olivia warns gently. 

Morgan puts her hands up to show that she means no harm. "It's okay," she tells Olivia. "That was a stupid question, huh?" At Jade's nod, she continues. "Let me rephrase that. Has Wyatt Harris ever done anything to  _you_?"

Jade nods, but stays silent. She doesn't want to talk about him. She wants to find Audrey. 

"Hey, do you think maybe you could point him out in a lineup?" Morgan tries a different tactic, obviously not getting anywhere the way she's tackling things. At the look on Olivia's face, she clarifies. "I've got some pictures right here," she holds up the folder, "and you wouldn't even have to leave. Your parents can stay here the whole time with you. Would that be okay?"

Jade shrugs and leans into Olivia's side. Panic is clawing at her throat, making it hard to breathe. She doesn't want to see him, doesn't want to be reminded of what he did, of what he took from her, but she will if it means finding Audrey. "Will it help you find Audrey?" 

Morgan nods, hopeful.

"I'll do it."

Morgan opens the folder and sets the stack of pictures on the coffee table in front of her. "Just take your time, okay? No rush." 

Jade takes a deep breath and looks at the stack of photos, going through them until he stands out. She sees him staring back at her and she can feel his hands roaming her body, pulling her hair roughly as he forces her to look at him. 

_"It's no fun if I can't see your pretty face, darlin'."_

Jade bites her lip against the whimper that's stuck in her throat, pointing to Wyatt's picture and hiding her face in Olivia's shoulder. 

Morgan nods and takes the stack of photos, his photo on top. She can't help but feel a twinge of guilt for asking Jade to relive the most traumatic part of her life. "You did such a good job, Jade." She turns to Rafael and hands him her card. "If she thinks of anything else, please don't hesitate to call."

* * *

Everything after their visit seems to happen so quickly that Olivia can't seem to keep up. Jade is able to give them everything they need to nail Harris, even going so far as giving them a license plate number and an address. 

Olivia can't be more proud of her. Her daughter is finally able to fight back. That's what Jade does.

She fights. 

They raid his house and find him and Audrey, who is terrified but, aside from a nasty bruise on her jaw, is unharmed. They want to bring her to the hospital for a checkup, but she's scared and inconsolable. 

Amanda fights them on it, tells them it won't do any good for them to keep her away from her family any longer than they need to. She shows up at Olivia's house with Audrey in her arms thirty minutes later and she can't stop thinking about the way that this could've turned out. 

Audrey is clutching onto Amanda with such a tight grasp that the woman is sure she's going to wake up with a bruise in the morning. Still, she lets Audrey hold onto her and hide her face in the crook of Amanda's neck. "We see Mama now?" 

She holds onto Audrey just as tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Yeah, baby." She manages through the lump in her throat. "Let's go see Mama." 

There are so many ways this could have ended instead, so many worse scenarios that could've ended in heartbreak and tragedy. 

"Mama!" Audrey cries, squirming in Amanda's embrace and practically jumping into Olivia's open arms. 

"Audrey," she whispers, holding onto her tightly, tears getting lost in her hair. "It's okay, baby. I'm right here. Mama's right here, sweet girl." She rocks Audrey in her arms and it doesn't take her long to fall asleep. 

"Thank you," she whispers to Amanda. It feels surreal to be on the other end of the happy ending, to be the one thanking the detectives.

Amanda nods, unable to speak. She reaches out and runs a hand over Audrey's hair. "If you need anything," she finally manages, squeezing Olivia's arm gently, "you know where to find me."

* * *

Sonny stumbles through Olivia's front door close to eight o'clock the next morning, shedding layers as he ventures into the living room - his tote bag at the door, his coat and boots in the hallway.

He sees Rafael asleep on the couch, his arm slung around the back cushion and he imagines it was most likely a rough night for them all. 

Jade and Audrey are settled in front of the TV under a makeshift fort with blankets draped haphazardly over kitchen chairs. Carisi peaks his head into the fort and discovers that they're both sound asleep.

Audrey is curled up in the fetal position on Jade's lap and Jade is holding her close, her head resting on top of Audrey's. It's a true Kodak moment, but the thought of anyone taking pictures of Jade now - innocent or not - nauseates him.

"Am I interrupting?"

"Not at all." Olivia motions for him to follow her into the kitchen. She stifles a yawn.

"How long have the kiddos been out?"

"Twenty minutes before you got here, maybe. So not long." Olivia says, bending to gather the scattered blocks from the floor. 

Carisi shoos her away and takes over. She's dead on her feet, he can tell.

"I don't know what I'm ever going to do to repay you guys."

"You don't need to thank us, Liv. I know you wanted to be there." He gets to work cleaning the dishes in the sink.

"I wanted to be here more." Olivia says as she picks up a stuffed bear. "How'd it go?"

He swallows down the biting comment he wants to spit out, mindful of the little ears that may be awake, and dries a plate. "I think he'll be more cooperative today. He had all night to, uh, clear his head." To sober up, to detox, to realize how unfortunate it will be for him to enter into the justice system as uncooperative as he'd been.

"Did he cop to any of it?"

"What we could prove. What was undeniable on her person."

"That's something, I guess." Olivia says. Wyatt Harris is lucky to be breathing in that cell. It isn't Olivia's place to dole out vigilante justice, but she wants nothing more than to lay into him. It's good that she hadn't been there to see him in person. It kept her from doing something that they would both regret. 

How  _dare_ Harris assault both of her girls and then deny the allegations leveled against him. How dare he.

"We should sit down." Carisi suggests. "Go over some things."

Olivia's heart siezes. Loose ends, perhaps? "Yeah. Absolutely."

Audrey emerges from the pillow fort with Daisy dangling from one hand, and scampers over to Olivia. "Mommy? I have pancakes?"

"Of course, sweet girl. Go to the bathroom and brush your teeth first. I'll hold Daisy."

Olivia tucks the puppy into the crook of her elbow and turns back to the fort. She sees that Jade is now curled up next to Rafael on the couch, safely tucked into his side. "Did she wake you up?" 

Rafael shakes his head and presses his lips to the crown of Jade's head. "We're good." 

Carisi is fussing in the kitchen, lost in thought as he cracks some eggs. 

Olivia wanders in behind him. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Just fattening you up."

"Oh, Carisi, you don't..."

"Please don't argue with me. Not on this." He fills the drip coffee maker with water and grabs the orange juice from the fridge.

"Thank you, Carisi. It smells amazing. Let me just get them settled." She pats his shoulder and returns to the bathroom just in time for Audrey to jump out.

"All done!"

"Great job. Let's make your teeth sparkly." Olivia says, steering her toward the sink. She helps Audrey squeeze the toothpaste out as she stands on the step stool. "Do you want Mommy to help you?"

"I do it, Mommy."

"Okay, baby. You go." She watches as Audrey swishes the brush around in her mouth and then takes over after about a minute, going over spots Audrey has likely missed.

After Audrey rinses her mouth, Olivia picks up the hairbrush from the edge of the sink and runs it gently through Audrey's hair.

It's riddled with tangles from her time in captivity.

Olivia follows Audrey back out and holds a hand out for Jade to join them.

"Liv, relax. I'll get them ready." Rafael says, an arm still slung around Jade. Olivia opens her mouth to protest and Rafael heads her off. She hasn't even had time to think, let alone take care of her own needs. "Really, Liv. I've got them."

Audrey hurries into Rafael's open arms, squealing in delight as he throws her up into the air and catches her again, tipping her upside down. 

Jade wordlessly tumbles into Sonny's chest, her arms wrapped around his waist and her face pressed into his dress shirt. 

Sonny holds her close. "Hey, kiddo." He leans down to whisper in her ear. "You did really good last night. We're so proud of you." 

Jade nods against his chest and moves over to Olivia. She bites her lip, hesitating. "Can I have pancakes too?"

Olivia nods and pulls her close, kissing her temple. "Of course, honey. Go get ready and breakfast will be ready soon, okay?" 

Jade nods. "Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too." Olivia presses her lips to the crown of Jade's head and gently nudges her in Rafael's direction. 

Rafael smiles and herds them in the appropriate directions to their bedrooms. "Go sit," he orders.

"Going, going." Olivia assures him. She's running on three hours sleep and not much else. Last night was filled with terrors and tears for both of the girls and none of them had the energy to move from the living room.

With two of the chairs hostage to the blanket fort, there are only two places left at the kitchen table, and Carisi sets one of them with her meal, even going as far as to put out a placemat.

"Really, Carisi, you don't have to wait on me in my own home," she says as she sits down. Steam billows up from the plate, two large helpings of scrambled eggs with a generous helping of bacon and two pancakes.

"It's no problem. The least I can do. Syrup?"

"No, this is great, thank you. Come sit."

Carisi collapses next to her without argument, a dish towel draped over his shoulder. "I hope it's okay. It was the quickest meal I could come up with."

"It's delicious, Carisi." She takes another bite, the warmth of the meal already rolling through her. A full serving would have her sleeping at the table. 

"So, you said you wanted to go over some things?" 

Carisi is quiet, absentmindedly swirling the flowers in the vase in the center of the table. "The pictures." He looks at Olivia. "I saw one of them in Lucas' basement. I went to interrogate him on my own."

Olivia takes a breath and holds onto it.

"He gave me Harris' name. I  _knew_ , Liv. I knew what kind of person he was and I kept quiet. If I had said..."

She holds a hand up. "Hold on, Carisi. Just stop." She sighs. "Am I disappointed that you kept the pictures from me? Yes. Were you incredibly stupid for going into Lucas' cell alone? Yes. But we had no evidence, no proof of any wrongdoing. Had you confronted him when you found out, it only would've ended badly for you." She reaches across the table and squeezes his hand. "You know, we're all doing this, and we have to stop. Jade blames herself for not going after him, Fin is beside himself, and Rafa and I are dripping with guilt, and here you are making yourself sick about it too. If this were any other case, we wouldn't feel this way."

But it's not, Olivia. It's the girls."

"I know. I know that. And that changes how we're dealing with the investigation a little. We're going to push harder. But we can't drown in it, or we won't do them any good."

"Yeah, alright."

There's a comfortable silence, the only sound in the house are Audrey's giggles and Olivia smiles to herself. Just hours before, Olivia was sure she'd never hear that laugh again.

"Barba's been really sweet with them," Carisi observes as Rafael's voice carries into the kitchen, followed by laughter from both of the girls. "Especially Jade."

"He loves them with everything he is." Olivia  drags a full fork through her eggs. "I don't think he's going back to work." 

Sonny's eyes widen. "What makes you think that?"

Olivia brings a hand up to dig at the tight muscles at the back of her neck. "He isn't used to being on this side of the law. It's been hard for him." 

Sonny reaches for her mug, and Olivia slaps his hand away. "I can do it. Just sit, Carisi. You must be exhausted too." She nurses her coffee. "He hasn't said anything yet, but I think he wants to be here. Full time."

"You okay with that?" 

She takes an oversized bite of her pancake, shrugging. "There's no one I trust more with our children than Rafael."

"I'm hurt." He teases, placing a hand over his chest in mock surprise. His phone buzzes. "Fin and 'Manda are on their way."

Olivia takes a sip of her coffee and smiles. A small bit of comfort warms Olivia's chest. Her team really is in it for the long haul.

Her team is her family.


	5. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tamping down her own insecurities, Olivia keeps a careful distance between the two of them as she sits on the edge of the cushion. She jumped in the deep end the second she laid eyes on the girls, but someone has to start swimming back. She only hopes Jade will allow herself to be pulled out of the water too."

Olivia has prepared herself for a fight, has put it off even, the discussion she and Jade need to have about the latter's therapy. 

There's a school that she and Rafael have been looking into. It's kind of like a boarding school, but for students with PTSD instead of behavioral issues. Therapy sessions are implemented twice a day - once in the morning and once at the end of the school day - and the reviews are what helps them seal the deal. 

Starting on Monday, Jade is going to be a student of Westview Middle School.

Olivia had been fully equipped for the resistance on Jade's part, but she is just as willing to stay in her corner. 

It's an imposition for Jade, an infringement of her space, privacy and freedom. If nothing else, her oldest daughter is predictably independent.

It was, then unnerving, when Jade offered up no fight or resistance. 

She now sits slumped over the counter in the kitchen, turning over a bottle of sleeping pills in her hand. She tenses as Olivia's feet pad against the floor.

"Hey, sweetheart," she says softly, palms open as she joins Jade. "So Daddy's getting Audrey ready for bed. How are you doing?"

Jade, much like Olivia, has walls; out of necessity, at first, but now out of habit. She shrugs,  worries at her bottom lip. Her chest rises but it doesn't release. "Olivia," she says finally, "I don't know how to do this."

"Do what?" Olivia probes, even though she has a hunch. Her chest tightens when Jade calls her by her first name. 

Jade dips her head, hair falling to hide her eyes.

Olivia remembers staying with Jade when she was admitted after Dennis attacked her. The nurses had taken great care to wash it for her after they cleaned out her wounds. Most of the bleeding had been superficial, but the peppering of scabs along her scalp had lasted for a while. 

What had bothered Olivia most, though, she remembers, was that Jade had struggled with even the small contact of the nurses' fingers in her hair. Her jaw set, whole body rigid, knuckles white where they clutched Olivia's hand.  Olivia's touch is still the only one she welcomes. 

"Sweetheart," Olivia tries again. "You don't know how to do what?"

"People don't love me," she whispers. "People…people leave, or...or they take advantage, but they don't  _love_ me." 

Olivia takes a breath and holds it. She remembers feeling the same way for the majority of her life and she is only now seeing how alike they truly are, even though they share no genetics. 

Through and through, Jade is Olivia's daughter. 

She gently takes the pills from Jade and the pills and sets them behind her on the counter. "Let's sit," she encourages, nodding her head towards the living room.

Jade sinks onto one end of the couch and draws a knee up to her chest, circling her arms tightly around her leg. The hesitation etched into her face is catching.

Olivia throws herself full tilt into everything. Her job, especially. She bears the scars as evidence. Slowly, she is learning to reassess where Audrey is concerned. But here, with Jade, she has once again uprooted her life, without a second thought, perhaps needlessly, if Jade is going to push her away.

Tamping down her own insecurities, Olivia keeps a careful distance between the two of them as she sits on the edge of the cushion. She had jumped in the deep end the second she laid eyes on the girls, but someone has to start swimming back. 

She only hopes Jade will allow herself to be pulled out of the water too. 

"Jade, I am not going anywhere. And I know," she sighs and angles her body to the trembling girl, "I know you don't believe me, and that's okay, honey. If that's what's triggering your panic right now, that deep-seeded urge to protect yourself by running or pushing or whatever it is your body is telling you, I'm here. I'll push through it with you. But if it's more than that, if it's because you aren't ready to go back and I've overstepped..."

"Mom, stop. Stop." Jade unfurls herself and swipes under her eyes, but the tears continue to fall.

"Jade."

"I-I..." A deep cry tears from her chest, seeming to startle her, and she collapses back into herself, her entire body wracking with the force of her sobs.

Olivia briefly debates her options and then stands abruptly, meandering back to the kitchen. She takes the kettle sitting idle on the back burner and fills it at the sink, letting the sound of the water slow her heartrate. After igniting the burner, she returns to Jade.

"Alright, honey, let's just try and breathe." She traces circles on Jade's back with the palm of her hand, applying even pressure, her bicep twitching at the awkward angle. It's a waiting game now. The panic, the anxiety has swallowed her, and her body has taken over. 

This Olivia knows. She's ridden out enough of these jags on her own with her upbringing, after Lewis. She remembers curling up and having one in the privacy of her bedroom after Audrey was taken, in the hospital stairway after Amanda was shot. This is not new territory, but it is new to watch, helpless, as it wreaks havoc on someone so young, someone she loves.

After a few minutes have passed, Olivia runs her hand over Jade's hair, tucking a few strands behind her ear. 

"Let's stand up," she murmurs, already rising herself, but Jade makes no effort to join her. "You need more air in your lungs. Come on, my sweet girl. Trust me on this one." 

Jade juts a hand out in Olivia's general direction and turns her head to face her. 

"You're okay," Olivia says slowly, reaching to pull her up.

Jade slowly unfolds and allows herself to be dragged to the middle of the living room, the hyperventilation still claiming her.

"Good girl," Olivia praises, her fingers encircled at Jade's wrists. "So let's try and breathe now, okay?" Olivia takes one of Jade's hands and positions it where her ribcage ends, placing her hand on top. The other pair of joined hands she guides to her own stomach, settling over her diaphragm. 

Olivia takes an exaggerated breath, forcing their hands to rise with the air. An exhale, and their hands fall flat. Jade looks to her, eyes red-rimmed and full of pain. "You can do it. In."

Olivia takes another slow breath, and Jade tries to mimic her. Her stomach contracts sharply an instant later. "That's okay. Try again," Olivia says gently, keeping her own breathing even. And so they continue, until finally, blessedly, their hands rise and fall on their bellies with matched rhythm.

"There you go. That's my girl." Olivia pulls her close and holds on tight. "Come here. You're okay." 

Jade holds on tightly, her face tucked safely in the crook of Olivia's neck.

The kettle screeches; Jade's shoulders tighten in response. "You're safe," Olivia reminds her. "I'm just going to grab that before it wakes Audrey."

Jade nods and lets Olivia step away without protest. 

Olivia quickly makes her way into the kitchen and turns the burner off, silencing the whistle of the boiling water. 

She picks a mug for Jade with Audrey's handprints squished onto the ceramic and the words  _Number One Sister_ looped on the other side. 

Amanda had taken the girls to a pottery studio and Audrey had been so proud of her creation. It's Jade's most treasured possession.

She then fishes out the box of teabags. Jade watches as she ventures back to the counter and falls in behind her. "It's herbal. Nothing strong. It'll just help your body calm down a little." In her periphery, Jade nods stiffly, her arms wrapped around her waist. 

Olivia stirs in a generous amount of honey and slides Jade's mug across the counter. "I'm having some too." Olivia puts the honey back in its designated cabinet, along with the mostly full box of teabags. 

Jade picks up her mug and blows across the surface of the liquid, the steam swirling up in front of her face. The familiar smell is grounding, it makes her think of Olivia and it eases the knot in her chest. "You haven't overstepped," she says without looking up. "I mean...I don't...at my old school, there was this guidance counsellor. He said he cared...that he wanted to help. When I told him about...Max, he said that I had 'quite the imagination'…"

"Oh, Jade." Olivia hadn't even gone to that place in Jade's past in her consideration of her daughter's boundaries. She's allowed her own traumas to taint her reaction, at a time when it's critical she remains open and objective.

"And I know that what happened with him was wrong, and I know that most therapists wouldn't…it's not even the same thing. I just...what I mean is that it's hard to trust people. But I trust  _you_ . I've always believed that you're not going anywhere. I still do."

"You do?" 

"You and Dad have been more consistent than anyone in my family has ever been. What you did for me and Audrey, what you're doing for me right now…I don't deserve it."

Olivia takes a sip of her tea. "I need you to do one thing for me." Jade's eyes flit up to hers. "I know it's hard, believe me, I do, but I need you to stop telling yourself you are unworthy."

At Jade's silence, Olivia continues. "You are not broken. You survived the abuse. The worst is over."

"Mom."

"You are a survivor, Jade. You can do this. And Dad and I will be right here."

* * *

Olivia swirls her spoon around her mug for the umpteenth time, erasing the last traces of the latte art the barista had so thoughtfully crafted. There's something about his phone call that isn't sitting well.

She'd heard that he's leading the Organized Crime squad now and it makes her nervous that his spontaneous phone call and subsequent request to meet up has something to do with her girls. 

Neither Harris or Max could have been released because they haven't even been arraigned, so she doubts there's truly any threat to her family's physical safety, and yet the way he had insisted on her vacating the park during one of their rare family days had made Olivia's skin prickle.

They'd barely been there two minutes before he called her. These last few days have ravaged her and she just wants to drown them out. 

She checks her phone and finds another update from Rafael: a picture of Jade pushing Audrey on the swings with a bright smile.  _Letting Audrey tire herself out and then lunch/book store?_

_Sounds great_ , she texts back.  _They'll love that. Thank you. Meeting him now._

Olivia rolls her shoulders back and reaches up to dig into the tight muscles, scrunching her face as she finds a tender spot. 

"Hey," a familiar voice says. Olivia looks up to find him looking uncharacteristically fidgety.

"Hey," Olivia says, jumping up from her seat by the window. Olivia visibly exhales upon meeting his gaze. They used to do this all the time, but it's been so long, it's almost foreign to her now. "You okay?" She asks tightly.

"Are  _you_ ?" Elliot tugs her down to sit by the crook of her elbow. "Maybe not a coffee for you," he slides Olivia's to-go cup over to his side of the table. "Maybe let's get you an herbal tea? Did you eat this morning or just play hero?" 

Olivia shrugs him off, as if being touched is uncomfortable. 

"Liv?"

She just stares at her clasped hands, fidgeting with her ring.

"Hey. Did something happen?" Elliot presses, concerned. 

Barely perceptible, Olivia shakes her head. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you after such a long time, I just thought that..."

"No," Olivia says in a rush. "No, you didn't...El," she breathes, scrubbing a hand over her face. "I'm so sorry. It's not you." She can't blame Elliot for doing what he did, for running when things got tough. 

She's guilty of doing the same thing. It's how she's lived most of her life. Then Rafael and the girls came along. 

"Then what is it?"

Olivia's whole body goes rigid. Elliot slides his hands across the table and stills her fingers. "Liv, look at me."

"I just..." Olivia starts. "Things have been so hectic lately, with my girls and work. It's all catching up to me now and I'm starting to feel it."

Elliot's heart sinks. He'd spoken to Fin just last night and he hadn't mentioned anything about her family. How has no one told him something like this? "You have kids?"

She pulls out her phone, bringing up a picture of her girls that she had just taken this morning. It had been a struggle to get Audrey to stay still long enough, but she treasures the memory. "The older one is Jade and the youngest is Audrey. My husband and I adopted them last month." 

"You could've called. I would've helped, would've been here for you and them." 

Olivia swallows and pockets her phone. She neglects to mention that she _has_ called him so many times that she's lost count. 

She wants things to still be amicable between them, even though they're no longer partners. 

For twelve years, he was the best friend she'd ever had. Then Rafael came along and she was so terrified it would be a repeat of her past, but instead they ended up growing even closer than her and Elliot and after two and a half years, he'd made it official by proposing.

She wrings her hands together. She understands, even forgives him, but she can't risk letting him back in her life, in her daughters' lives, only for him to disappear again. 

"I know you're scared, Liv." Elliot says gently. "And I know I messed up, lost your trust in me. All I'm looking for here is a second chance." 

Olivia nods.  "Let's make a deal. We're good, but no more bullshit. If I want you to leave, I'll say. If you need a break, you say. And no matter what happens, if you meet my girls, you're a constant in their lives. They've had enough people walk out on them."

Elliot grins, his chest swells. "Deal." He sips his coffee. "So when do I meet them?"

Olivia chuckles and pulls her phone out, clicking on Rafael's name. "I can have them here in fifteen minutes."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Rafael is standing outside the restaurant with the girls in tow, one bouncing up and down on her heels with excitement and the other clinging to him with such intensity that he's sure her fingers are going to fall off.

Setting foot in the restaurant full of strangers is unnerving. Rafael holds her hand tightly in his own the entire way, but Jade still feels uneasy. 

They know bits and pieces of her past with Max, but she can't bring herself to talk about all of them. She can't get into the details of her past. In the details, she's terrified. In the details, she's powerless. In the details, she isn't a survivor, she's a victim. 

Now, stepping outside while so many of them are still out there and potentially planning an attack on her or Audrey is an overwhelming task. 

"So I thought we could hang out with  _Mamí_ and Elliot for a half an hour or so and then head home for the day," Rafael says as they all step inside the cafe. "Does that sound okay?"

Jade nods stiffly as Audrey searches eagerly for Olivia. A group of young men spill out of the cafe, laughing and shoving each other, and they jostle past her, their bodies pushing against hers, one of their arms brushing lightly against her breast.

Jade gasps and inches closer to Rafael. 

"Jade, you alright?"

"Fine."

Audrey lets go of Rafael's hand and runs to where Olivia is sitting.  "Mama!" She pulls at Olivia's sweater and Olivia takes her into her arms and holds her on her lap; she nestles her head under her mother's chin. 

"Hey, sweetheart," Olivia whispers, running a hand down her hair. "Did you have fun with Daddy and Jade?"

Audrey fists Olivia's sweater and nods against her shoulder. "Yeah! I went down the big slide! And Daddy got me a new book!" With her free hand, she holds up a book with a colorful title page and waves it in front of Olivia. 

"You found a good one, huh?" Olivia asks as she continues to run her fingers over the back of Audrey's head and trace circles on her back. "Can you say hi to Elliot, baby?"

Audrey lifts her head off Olivia's shoulder and gives Elliot a small wave before shyly tucking her head into the crook of Olivia's neck again.

"Hey," Rafael and Jade join them and he pecks her lips before sliding into the booth next to her.  Jade hesitates before wordlessly taking the chair across from Olivia. "Rafael Barba," he extends his hand to Elliot.

"Elliot Stabler," Elliot shakes his hand and turns to Jade. "You must be Jade. It's nice to meet you."

Jade just nods and wrings her hands together under the table.

Audrey holds the first book up to Olivia. "Hold on, sweetheart. Do you girls want anything? Hot chocolate maybe?"

Jade shakes her head.

"Mama, I want a cookie," Audrey announces, placing the book on the table. 

Rafael chuckles. "No, you just had lunch, silly. Jade just forgot."

"Oh. Jade you need some food," Audrey asserts seriously, tilting her head.

"Later," she replies, staring at a stain on the table.

She can feel Elliot watching their exchange and her cheeks burn. Olivia begins paging through the book on the table, softly reading each line and then asking Audrey to find a picture.

Jade sees Elliot dismiss himself, returning a few moments later with two scones - one for him and one for her. 

"You like blueberries, right?" 

Jade swallows and nods. 

Elliot slides the second plate in front of Jade and gets to work eating his own. "The best in New York," he assures her through a mouthful of the pastry.

Jade chews her lip and carefully breaks hers apart, slipping a piece into her mouth. Her tongue dances at the taste of the warm blueberries and her empty stomach screams with joy.

Olivia stops reading to look at Elliot, mouthing a quick 'thank you' before turning her attention back to Audrey. 

* * *

The  following Monday  morning, Jade is curled up on the couch, tucked safely into Rafael's side, the two of them watching morning cartoons. She's been feeling nauseous ever since last night and is considering telling her parents she's too sick to go to school. 

_"Just sit tight and don't worry about a thing." The nurse, a small Hispanic lady with frizzy hair and a fiesty temper, tells Jade, placing her hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure your mother will be here any minute."_

_Jade nods at Carla and curls up on the bed. She feels like death and after she had been found by a teacher in a stall hovering over the toilet bowl, she had been dragged to the nurse's office. Carla is beside her, talking to her softly while they wait for her mother._

_She usually hates it when someone touches her without her permission, but she lets Carla run her hand up and down her back - she relishes in the feeling of someone else's touch._

_Someone who doesn't want to hurt her._

_"What did she say?" Jade asks Carla, swallowing against the lump in her throat. "When you called her?"_

_Carla's face hardens for just a second before she smiles at Jade softly and resumes the soothing motion. "She didn't answer. But I left a message and I'm sure she's already on her way."_

_Jade has a feeling Carla's lying and she knows her mother is passed out on the living room couch, too drugged up to even realize the phone had been ringing._

_Carla has to drive her home that day._

"Jade, sweetheart. Come eat something." 

Rafael nudges her softly, standing up and pulling Jade to her feet. 

Jade stuffs her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt - an oversized Harvard hoodie she stole from Rafael. She chews her bottom lip and wanders into the kitchen, staring at the food in front of her. She's usually the first one to grab a plate whenever Rafael cooks, but her stomach roils in protest at the smell. "I'm not hungry." She whispers, sitting at the table next to Olivia. 

Olivia adjusts Audrey on her lap and reaches out, running a hand down Jade's back. "Sweetheart, I know you're worried about today, but I promise you'll be be fine." 

Jade nods, twisting her hands in her lap. What if she gets sick at her new school? What if they all hate her when they find out about her father? About Harris and the others? Her chest arrests at the thought.

Between the two of them, Olivia and Rafael finally manage to get some food into Jade - half an orange and a slice of toast - and Olivia has promised to drop Jade off at the bus stop on her way to work. 

" Call me if you need me," Olivia says, as they wait for the bus. 

"I will." Jade mumbles, adjusting her school bag on her shoulders. 

Olivia turns her cheek to face her. "I love you," she says. "So much. And I'm so proud of you."

"I love you, too." Jade replies, giving her mother a hug. She wants to crawl into the safety of her mother's lap and stay there forever, but she knows she has to face her fears eventually. 

She can't hide forever.

Olivia squeezes her. "Daddy will be right here at 3:30 to pick you up. Have a great day, honey," she says. 

"You too." Jade responds, just as the bus pulls up in front of them. She gets jostled by a group of too-eager students and she can tell Olivia wants to say something to the bus driver. 

She's glad when she just purses her lips shut and brushes a strand of hair out of Jade's face. 

"Call me at lunch. I want to hear about your day."

Jade nods.

"And be careful."

She watches as Jade approaches the bus. There are kids scattered all over the aisles, rushing to find their seats for the morning ride. Olivia knows what they're capable of. The influences they carry with them and threaten to wave in front of her daughter.

Jade takes a deep breath and steps inside, resisting the urge to run back into her mother's arms, especially when she looks around for an empty seat and sees a group of girls staring at her and whispering. 

She diverts her gaze to the floor in front of her and walks to the back of the bus. She takes the only empty seat next to a kid with a shaved head and a chiseled jawline. 

She notices his leg is shaking underneath his backpack and she wonders if he's as nervous as she is. 

"You're new," he finally mumbles, turning to face her. 

"Yeah," she whispers back, twisting her hands in her lap, much like she had done earlier in the morning. She notices his eyes first, amber brown with long, sweeping lashes. 

The boy shoots her a lopsided grin, showing off his dimples. "I'm Carter." He points to a group of kids in the seats next to him. Two girls and a guy, whispering and laughing as they huddle up and watch videos on the guy's phone. "That's Scott, Jill and Ellie." 

Scott, a scrawny kid with a floppy head of dark hair that falls in his eyes, waves at Jade. The girls are quick to do the same before they turn back to the video. 

Jade just chews her lip. "Jade."

"Jade," Carter repeats, that same goofy grin from earlier returning. "Hey, once we get to school, you should let us show you around!" He says, a little too excitedly for Jade's liking.

"Sure," she shrugs her shoulders. When she calls Olivia this afternoon, she wants to tell her that she had at least made an effort to make friends at her new school. 

Still, the twisting feeling in her gut has yet to go away. This school is designed for people like her, people with traumas and troubled pasts, but she can't bring herself to talk about it. She can't bring herself to trust them. 

She supposes that's why she's here. 

"What's the deal with the sweater?"

Scott's voice brings Jade back and she doesn't know when they moved, but all three of Carter's friends are closer now, in the seat in front of her. 

"It's my dad's." She says, defensive. She stuffs her hands in the front pocket. "It's comfortable." 

"Your dad went to Harvard Law?" Jill, the taller of the two girls, asks. "What is he, like a lawyer or something?" 

Jade nods. "He was an Assistant District Attorney with the Special Victims Unit. He just quit his job to be with me and my sister full time." 

"Cool!" Ellie says, sitting on her knees and resting her arms on the back of the seat. "What does your mom do?"

"She's lieutenant of Special Victims. They used to work on the same cases together." 

"Your mom's a police officer?" Carter stares at Jade, brown eyes wide. "Does she get to shoot people?" 

"Lieutenant," Jade corrects. "And she doesn't  _get_ to shoot people. But sometimes she has to." 

The bus comes to a stop outside the school and Jade looks out the window at the building. It's so big, intimidating, and she wipes her sweaty palms on her jeans. 

"Don't worry," Jill says, sliding out of the seat with Ellie following close behind. "You'll love it here. And, if anyone gives you any trouble, we'll kick their ass." 

As if to prove Jill's point, Scott and Ellie put up their fists in front of their faces as if throwing punches. 

Jade lets loose a small laugh and it feels good - _natural_. She lets Jill wrap an arm around her shoulders as they make their way inside. 

By lunch, she can't wait to call Olivia and tell her about them. 

* * *

Jade ends up having almost all the same classes as Carter and Jill, save for their electives. Jill is in anatomy with dreams to become a doctor while Carter is in film in hopes to be "the next Quentin Tarantino." 

Ellie is in criminology and Jade nearly chooses the same elective, but she ends up picking dance instead when she sees a group of the students in action. 

At lunch, Jade calls Olivia. 

_"Hey, sweetheart, how's your day going?"_

"Not bad, actually," Jade replies, sounding more chipper than she had hours before. "How's yours?"

_"Caught a case this morning. I think it's just gonna be you girls and Daddy tonight," Olivia replies. "I'm sorry, honey."_

Jade shrugs. "It's fine." She pauses. "What's the case?" 

_"Nothing that you need to worry about," Olivia replies. "We'll talk later, okay?"_

"Yeah," Jade says. "I have to get going, anyway. Dance class."

"Have you made any friends?" Olivia asks, hiding how hopeful she feels.

"Kind of," Jade replies, and Olivia can't help but smile. "His name's Carter. He's cool. His friends are nice. You'd like them."

_"Carter, hey?" Olivia says, protective._

"Mom, it's not like that," Jade responds, knowing what her mother is getting at.

_"Well, you'll have to invite them over."_

It's muffled for a second and Olivia hears a sound she hasn't heard too often lately — Jade laughing.

"I gotta go, Mom," she says into the phone.

_"Okay, honey. I love you," Olivia tells her. "I'll call you later."_

"Love you," Jade replies. She hangs up and sees Carter and his friends at their table. He and Scott are throwing grapes at each other, trying to catch them in their mouths. So far, they've missed all of them. 

"Hey, Jade!" Ellie smiles wide and pulls out the seat next to her. "I saved you a seat." 

"Thanks." Jade smiles back and slides into the proffered seat. She looks around the lunch room, a tiny area that houses only a few small groups of students at a time. 

They all start to eat, but Jade notices Ellie only picks at her food and she wonders if that's why she's here. Something akin to sympathy sparks in her chest. She makes a mental note to talk to Jill about it later. 

* * *

After school, as Jade stands to get off the bus, Ellie stops her.

"Hey," she says. "So about that English project, we should hang out and work on it together." 

They're supposed to partner up and write a five hundred word essay on the most important person in their lives. 

"Sounds good," Jade replies nonchalantly. She knows who she's going to write about already and wonders if Ellie has chosen too. "Did you pick who you're going to write about yet?" 

Ellie hesitates, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her jeans. "No. But I'll think of someone." 

Jade nods. She wants to ask about her parents, but decides to let it go for now. 

"Um," Ellie continues. "What are your plans on Saturday?"

"Mmm," Jade exhales, thinking. "Nothing, really."

"Do you want to hang out?" Ellie asks. 

It's clear that she thinks Jade will say no, by the way she bites her lip; waiting to be shot down.

"Sure," Jade replies after a moment. 

"Yeah?" Ellie's brow raises and a genuine smile appears on her face, like when Jade joined them at lunch. 

"Yeah," Jade shrugs, a small grin on her face. She decides Ellie's smile is one of her favorite things. 

"Cool," she replies, still grinning.

"Cool." Jade echoes. "I'll see you tomorrow," she waves, heading for the doors. 

Ellie gives a little wave. "See you," she replies. She rests her head on the window, still smiling.

* * *

It's come down to this: a standoff with the local police and the SVU against the man they've been searching for.

Oscar Locklear has lured five women to his home by messing with their cars while they were at a nearby gas station. None of the five cars got more than seven miles before the sputtering and smoking started - and their phones were out of service areas. They had no choice but to seek help from the nearest house, which of course happened to be Ian's.

When Olivia had seen his basement, full of tools and objects for torturing his victims, her stomach had churned.

Now, Oscar is closed up in his own barn, refusing to come out and already having fired three shots from his loft position.

"You don't wanna do this, man," Fin calls up to the old man.

The grey-haired farmer spits out the window before going back to hiding right beside the empty window frame. "What do you know about what I wanna do?" He growls.

"I know that if Holly were alive, she'd want you to come out here with your hands up," Sonny replies, invoking the name of the man's late wife. 

It catches Oscar off guard. He blinks, his lips parting absently as memory of his wife's face floods his vision. "You shut up," Oscar sputters after a moment, holding his rifle clumsily. "You shut up about my wife!"

They hear him stomping around in the loft.

"He's coming down," one of the officers whispers to Olivia.

She swallows and squints slightly, examining her perfect stance and aim. She hates when it has to come down to this; to a desperate, pathetic rapist using the bullet of a cop to avoid his deserved consequences.

Suddenly a shot is fired and the team lowers themselves a little more, shielded by car doors and police vehicles.

Olivia can see the rifle sticking out of a small hole in the old wooden wall. It's pointed directly at the car Amanda is hiding behind and then she hears the gasps for breath. 

No. 

Not again.

The rifle disappears and Oscar is gone, hiding out in the safety of his barn again. 

"Stand down!" Olivia orders to the other officers, hurrying to Amanda. 

"I'm fine," she manages, sitting up and examining the bullet that has lodged into the bulletproof vest. "Just a bruise." 

Fin and a number of unis charge into the barn while Sonny joins Olivia. As if he has forgotten Olivia is standing right beside her, he pulls Amanda into his arms. "The baby," he mutters, placing a hand on Amanda's flat belly.

Olivia doesn't have time to react to the news.

Oscar has been using a hunting rifle this entire time, with the cops, but when he throws open the barn door, he produces an automatic and shots begin riddling the police cars. They see two more officers go down.

Olivia's heart races as her mind works flawlessly through the panic to do her job. There's another life at stake now, an innocent who hasn't even had a chance to see the world. 

She aims and fires. 

A second, a spurt of blood, and an agonized scream later, Oscar Locklear is on the ground clutching his bicep. Olivia's bullet went right through the thin, dreary skin; she knows it. Her aim doesn't fail.

Oscar is down, being collared by Fin, but the damage is already done. 

The lives of the officers have been needlessly cut short, ended by a man pushed too far over the edge. 

Their families are completely unaware, children expecting them home to tell them about their day and partners waiting up for them. 

Olivia realizes it could've been her. 

The thought of never coming home paralyzes her. 


End file.
